Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Um...What DID you like?

Okay, ladies, fess up. When you met your husband's, did you do anything to 'change' him? Did you maybe buy him some decent clothes or a cologne that you like? Did you teach him to drink something that wasn't in a can? To use utensils? See, these are normal things, I believe. When I met Frank, he had his own apartment and in his refrigerator was nothing but condiments. Should cold-cuts ever arrive in his apartment, he was ready.

But have you ever known a couple where the woman COMPLETELY makes over the man? I find this hysterical. When my sister met husband number 2, he was a rather plain and simple man. He had a small house, he had a boat that he loved and he wore glasses. Within a year, the boat was gone, the glasses were gone and they were on the hunt for a better house. Okay, so what did you like about this man in the first place? I mean, looks aren't everything, right? When I met Frank he wore jeans and pocket t-shirts. This has not changed. He drank a little more and smoked a little more but those are the only things that have changed about Frank in 19 years. So why would you date someone if you had to change everything about them? This is a mystery to me. There are millions of people in the world, surely you could find someone who meets your standards more than the poor schmuck getting a make over! All of the effort going in to re-stocking his closet, taking him to a stylist, introducing him to foods that YOU like, this time and energy could be better spent just actually LOOKING for someone else who would suit your needs. My sister is in this mode with her current boyfriend. It's almost like playing dress up with a life-sized, icky Ken doll.

I have struggled with my weight my whole life. It's no big secret. When I met Frank, I wore a size 5. The first time he took me out to dinner I wore an outfit that was downright sexy and should not have been allowed out in public - mini skirt, tube top, bolero jacket, stilletto heals, you name it, I had it on. Now I am a size 12. No one wants to see me in any of those things and they are right. Not once in all of these years has Frank asked me to lose weight. He has not tried to convince me to slim down with the promise of something 'pretty' or 'sexy'. He loves me for me. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal to us to live this way, so why is it so hard for others?

Maybe instead of treating the liar to a new wardrobe, maybe she should treat him to councelling on how to stop being a liar. THAT would be a change that everyone could enjoy and money well spent.

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