Sure, But Can You Walk On Water?

Every once in a while Frank and I will get in to a ridiculous fight. I think that most fights are ridiculous, but sometimes they are necessary. This morning's fight was not.

I sleep with the fan going 365 days a year - no breaks. I am always hot when I sleep. Frank is a smoker. Fifteen years ago our pediatrician told him to stop smoking in the house because it was making Nick sick. So now he smokes outside - or tries to. These were the weapons used in this morning's "discussion". We were lying in bed, not wanting to get up, when Frank asked "Why do you leave the fan on when you're not here?" "Sometimes I forget", I reply. "No, you don't. Forgetting once in a while I can understand, but not everyday." Now in my defense, I don't normally shut the fan off until I do my final walk through before leaving for work. In his mind, once I am out of the bed, or off the treadmill the fan should go off. Now I'm a little defensive. "Oh, does that bother you?" I ask. "Yeah, it does," He says. The line in the sand has been drawn.

"You know what bothers me?" I ask, and before he can answer I say "Smoking in the house." "I haven't done that in MONTHS," he claims. Right, because I just imagine the smell of smoke coming under the bedroom door. Okay. Sure. "You know what else I hate?" I ask (because now I'm on a roll) "I hate that you have that last cigarette right before coming to bed and then you come to bed all smelling of smoke and then cough for a solid five minutes. THAT'S annoying." Keep in mind that during all of this, no one has raised their voice. "You're already awake when I get in here." He says. "Yes I am," I say, "Because of all the smoke." At this point we both look at eachother and laugh because we realize how stupid this all is. Bottom line, he's going to smoke, I'm going to use the fan. Frank was expecting me to admit that I screwed up with the fan thing and that I would promise to never do it again, he did not expect me to come back at him with something that HE does wrong - because he does not believe that he has faults that annoy anyone. In his mind, the things that he does is trivial to the crimes the rest of the family commits. Hardly. I often ask him when he goes on these rants about what the rest of us do wrong "What's it like to walk on water?"

He gets the point.