The Birth Story...Sort of...

When you work with a bunch of women or even if you hang around with a bunch of women, you will eventually get to the topic of your children and childbirth and all that goes with it.  Not everyone has an exciting story to tell other than that feeling of becoming a mom for the first time.  Every once in a while you hear a truly amazing story of how that little person came in to the world and all you can do is say awww...

I don't think I ever shared Michael's story here but here it is.  We had no trouble conceiving Nick.  I had a textbook pregnancy with him and really, I couldn't have asked for more.  When he was 18 months old, we decided that we were ready to try for another baby.  

Lightning didn't strike twice.

For the next six years we struggled with infertility and one miscarriage.  I went to doctors but with no health insurance, I was extremely limited on what could and couldn't be done.  I went to workshops, read books and listened to countless amounts of advice from people who had gone through the same thing.  Let me just stop and say that there is no "same thing".  What works for one couple, doesn't work for another.  Believe me, we tried.

I went to a natural family planning workshop - which was actually geared as a way of teaching birth control but I knew the instructor's and they decided to work with me on the opposite end.  I took supplements, I lost weight...I made myself crazy!  I prayed and I prayed and I prayed and nothing was happening.  
One afternoon I was on the phone with a dear friend who was the reason I ended up becoming a Christian.  She was a powerful prayer warrior and I turned to her in despair.  She was also a nurse and I think my main objective was to get medical advice but in the middle of my request she began to pray out loud.  I was more than a little surprised but within minutes she quieted and said "You are going to have your baby...you need to go to the pastor's and elders at church and ask them to pray over you."  

Awkward silence.

Um...sure, thanks.  Good talking to you.  I cannot even begin to tell you how disappointed I was.  Talk to the pastors and elders?  Seriously?  About what?  I sat on the info for a week or two and asked around the church if that was even something that was done and it was confirmed that it was.  Now, at the same time that this is going on, my doctor had me on the depo-provera shots to try and calm what were erratic periods.  The shot was making me crazy: I had migraines, I gained weight, I was EXTREMELY moody and...I had an extended period that was going on in to month number three.  No chance of pregnancy there!

I got up the courage to talk to our outreach pastor (who I had a good relationship with) about the whole "praying over me" thing and he was like "Sure, we can do it on Sunday after church" and then he said he'd like to say a quick prayer over me right then and there.  When I got home?  The period had stopped.

I kid you not.

That Sunday, five men prayed over me while Frank and Nick sat and watched.  I walked out of the office feeling a lightness that I had never felt before.  When I got in my car, the song "I can see clearly now the rain is gone" was playing and I was like YES!!!  That's exactly how I feel!  

Six weeks later I was pregnant.  

This pregnancy, however, was not the carefree one of years earlier.  I was sick each and every day.  I actually LOST weight.  I had periodic spotting, I had premature labor and constant contractions, MY JAW LOCKED OPEN and I had to go to the hospital where I became a 'teaching moment' for the interns!  I had gestational diabetes, I had to give myself insulin shots and check my blood several times a day.  I wanted to die.  Literally, I told Frank that I wanted to die and he became afraid to leave me home alone.  

I asked my friend, why, why would God give me this answer to a prayer and then make it so hard?  What she said stays with me in every hard time of my life:  God wants us to be thankful in all things.  When I'm having contractions, praise God - there's a baby there giving me contractions.  When I feel sick - praise God that there's a baby there making me feel that way.  Let me tell you, that is not an easy mantra to hang on to when you are throwing up for the seventh time in a day.  

Michael was born three weeks early and the doctor's feared that with my diabetes, that his lungs weren't going to be fully formed.  Let's just say that his lungs were pretty much the only thing working well for him at the time of his birth!  He spent the next six months suffering from a whole protein allergy that had him on hospitalized for a week and needing to see a doctor weekly while on a prescription formula.  He needed to eat every two hours to ensure that he gained weight and we were all exhausted.  He had all kinds of skin issues...my baby was a mess.  

The differences between child number one and child number two were so great it was mind boggling.  I don't feel like we were able to relax and just enjoy Michael until he was over that 6 month mark.  

What I learned from this experience is to not take life for granted.  That little life - which started tearing mine up at the six week point (did I mention that I was on a plane when that first wave of morning sickness started and never left?) kept me in a constant state of prayer and thanksgiving for the entire time I carried him.  He is my miracle baby on so many levels and my gift from God.  

After he was born and I'd be holding him, I would tell him that.  When he was two he said something to me, I can't remember specifically what, but he was being adorable and I looked at him and said "How come you're so cute?" and he looked at me and said "Because God made me that way."

Amen.   

Thieves in the Office...

I think we can all stand up now and confess that we've "borrowed" a pen from work.  Maybe a couple of Post It pads, a notebook, maybe even a stapler.  We've had a strange phenomenon going on in our office lately. 

Someone is stealing mugs.

I kid you not.  Our bosses were gracious enough to stock our kitchen with a lovely complete set of dishes (service for eight) with dinner plates, salad plates, bowls and mugs.  We have real silver wear and tall drinking glasses.  Just last week one of my co-workers was coming around to all of the desks in search of the mugs that go with the set because so many were missing.  This didn't really effect me because I have my own mug (a lovely Disney mug with Mickey, Minnie and Pluto on it). 

Well, today I'm in the office and lo and behold, MY MUG IS GONE!  Now I'm pissed.  I mean, I was slightly offended by the loss of the company mugs but now this is personal.  I mean, who DOES that???  If someone borrowed it and broke it, have the damn decency to own up to it and let me know.  Accidents happen, I get it, but at least let me know!

And as if that wasn't bad enough, we are having a little weight loss competition in the office and I had the money hidden in my desk and someone took $20 out of that!  So now, not only did someone steal my dang Disney mug, but they rifled through my desk and stole money!  I'm not going to lie to you, I'm having a hard time going in to the office tomorrow and dealing with this like a rational person!

How do you confront people about this?  Who do you point the finger at?  We're a small office, I thought we were all close but this sort of behavior is appalling to me.  

So I guess not only is there no perfect church but there is no perfect workplace.

Bummer.

The Chick-Fil-A Song - who knew?

This is clearly a Southern thing because we did not have Chick-Fil-A up in New York.  If you've heard of it, feel free to sing along!

Clean Humor and it Makes Me Laugh!

So I was out with the girls the other night for a very low-key evening (dessert, chatting, etc) and we broke up our gab-fest with a DVD by this comedian, Tim Hawkins.  Honestly, it was a little over an hour and most of my make up had been cried off from laughing too hard!


Enjoy!

Odd Couple - 'O' is for the oldest friend I know.

I was THRILLED when the Odd Couple came on to the cable channel MeTV.  There are a lot of great classic shows on there, but this is one of my favorites and this particular scene ALWAYS makes us laugh.  

This is when TV was great!

My buddy...

Way back when, when Stace was but a child, our family was supposed to move to Florida.  We were living in New York and we had sold our house and most of our furniture when my mom decided that she, in fact, did NOT want to move to Florida.  We rented a house temporarily and then moved in to a house in another town.  It was the summer between 2nd and third grade and where I met one of my best friends.

I was doing work around the house with my dad before we moved in and she was skateboarding down her driveway four houses away.  My dad encouraged me to go down and introduce myself but I didn't want to so he took me down there and handled it all himself.  He was pushy, I was shy; he's still pushy, I'm not still shy.

Anyway, here we are 35 years later and we are still friends and today is her birthday.  To my buddy Linda, you always make me smile and I am so thankful that we've been friends these many, many years.  I hope that you have a wonderful birthday and I look forward to another 35 years of friendship.  Are we rocking those sunglasses or what???

 And yes, I'm still rocking the sunglasses...some things never change!  Love you, my friend!!

Ereaders, who knew?

I have to admit, I fought the wave of the eReaders.  I am an old fashioned girl who enjoys holding an actual book in my hands and turning the pages.

Or so I thought.

Frank bought me a Kindle Touch for Christmas and while I put on a brave face and smiled and thanked him, inside I was like "Why?  Why would he do this to me?  Doesn't he know me at all?"  So it took some time to charge and I went on my merry little way that day and by dinner time he had looked at me, rather sadly, and was like "Don't you like your Kindle?"  The mean girl in me wanted to yell "NO!  As a matter of fact, I do NOT like it!  I told you I don't like eReaders; why would you buy me one?" But in the spirit of Christmas, I did not and I said that I was just waiting for it to charge so that I could learn it.

I was a complete spaz with it those first few weeks.  It was awkward and I kept forgetting how to get where I wanted to go and just when I was ready to smash it against a wall, it turned out that it was defective and I really wasn't so spazzy after all!  Yeah, me!  

The other day I was shopping and was wanting a new book and so I scanned the book aisle at the Super Target and put a book in my cart and then realized, wait a minute, I can get this cheaper on my Kindle!  It was like a lightbulb moment.  I have, quite possibly, a hundred paperback books in storage that have not gotten taken through Paperback Swap so why would I keep adding to that collection?  So I came home, downloaded (uploaded?  still don't know the difference on that one!) the book and happily read it while sitting in bed.  It was GLORIOUS!

I am looking forward to putting a couple of books on there for the road trip to South Carolina.  I love how tiny and compact the Kindle is and I love that I no longer have to find space in the shed for paperbacks - except for the ones I already have!  It's good to join the masses and see for myself what all of the fuss was about.  I'm sure I'll eventually want to upgrade to the Fire or something, but for now, the Touch is PERFECT.

Thank you to my wonderful husband for getting me the perfect gift that I almost hated.  You are the best!

When Your Husband Joins Facebook...

A couple of weeks ago, something strange happened in my home.  Nick came for dinner that night and I had to sit him down so that he heard the news from me and not from one of his friends.  To this day I have a hard time understanding where we went wrong and how we got to this place but...

Frank got a Facebook page.

He who has mocked us, jeered at us and just flat out told us we were all stupid, has joined the masses and gotten himself a Facebook page.  During all of his online job hunting I guess he thought this was another way to network.  So far, he's been harmless although when we were shopping the other night he turned to me and asked if I was going to go out with a particular friend of mine and when I looked at him strangely (because the question had come out of no where) he was like "I saw it on your wall."

My wall?
You're reading my wall?
You know what a wall is?

It's all just a little too strange for me right now.  I'm not sure what to do with him! I posted some pictures on his page and some links those first few days so that he didn't look so "un-social" and plain but he seems to be doing okay on his own.  He's got people friend requesting him and even though one of them was his ex wife (he did not accept) I totally trust him to not do anything stupid on there.

I just feel like we've crossed into a parallel universe!

Serious Rockstars...

I'm telling you, every time we get a new picture of them, it makes me giddy!  Here's another great shot of Motrendus by the great photographer, Scott Chmelar.  You rock!

As do they...

Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award

Okay, so this is my third year participating and my third year feeling highly inadequate.  Why do I keep doing this to myself?  Because practice makes perfect and someday, something GOOD is actually going to happen for me and my writing.  At least I hope it is.

Here's my main dilemma with all of this:  I did some research on the types of books that make it in to the quarter/semi/finals.  Now the main header is "Fiction" and then all of the sub-genres of it.  I write more along the romance line.  Do they take a lot of romance?  No.  One year, a majority of the stories that made it into the finals had a handicapped person as the main character!  How is that possible?  

I was reading some other blogs that have dealt with the ABNA's and a lot of them are discouraged by it and not participating any more because of the fact that although the grand prize is a contract with Penguin Publishing (and they are HUGE) none of the books that won have sold well.  Shouldn't that tell the judges something?  Um, like maybe not everyone wants to read the same book year after year?  Am I the only one that sees the problem here?

So I'm submitting and although I've never advanced in to any form of the finals, I'm okay with that.  Normally, I get a free printing of a proof of one of my books from Create Space because they give all of the entrants a coupon for one.  If nothing else, I'll save $10 on a future copy of one of my books.  

Still winning...LOL!

The Big Bang Theory - Fun With Flags

ROAD TRIP!

Next month my nephew will graduate from the Marines boot camp down on Parris Island in South Carolina.  Have I mentioned how proud I am of him??  Love that boy!  Anyway, even though we are only a state away, it is a 5 1/2 hour drive.  Yikes!

The plan is that my mom is going to fly in here by me and then we will pick her up from the airport and drive down.  We'll spend two nights and get to visit Justin on base and then attend the graduation service.  I am excited for this on many levels.  First, it's a HUGE accomplishment for my nephew.  He worked so hard to get in to the Marines and here he is, one step closer to his dream.  He didn't let anything or anyone stand in his way and for that I am so proud of him.

Next, Michael LOVES all things Military so to be able to take him on an actual Marine base is going to be very exciting for him.  He is studying already so that he'll be familiar with all that he sees.  Then there's the fact that this is a mini vacation.  Sure it's 11 hours of driving over the course of two days but it's a short break from my life and I am so looking forward to it!  

Now, I just need for February to FLY by so that I can get to March!

A Classic Big Bang Theory Moment - Amy & the Tiara

Book Sales...

Okay, so I am nearing the 100 book sale mark for "Jordan's Return".  So exciting!!!  While I had hoped for bigger numbers, I know that it's not possible without marketing and I just have not had the time to do it.  I long for the day when I find someone who knows how to do and would volunteer their time for me!

So, just a reminder, you can get your copy right now for only .99 cents on Amazon's Kindle or in paperback for $11.99.  You can find it on Barnes and Noble's Nook for $1.99 (it wouldn't let me change the price!), or in paperback for $8.63 (I didn't know they were offering it until just now!).  I would love to hit the 100 mark for it's 3 month release date.  

Can you help me, please???  

And on an exciting note, I am featured today on "Cafe of Dreams: Book Reviews" site today.  Click HERE to check it out!

Another Classic Rockstar Moment...

Special thanks once again to the fabulous photography talents of Scott Chmelar. 

Highs and Lows...

So...Frank finally got a job.  YEAH!!!  He'll be working with a commercial painting and wallpaper company and the money isn't great and it's kind of far away but it is WORK.  Praise GOD!  He starts on Monday and you know what's gone on here since he got the job?  He's getting calls for work on his own.  I HATE when that happens.  So he's torn between working the new job for someone else or staying on his own and I told him that he needs to just take the job with the commercial people and perhaps start booking jobs maybe 2-3 months out from now.  This way, we start getting an income again and he can see if he fits in with this job or if it's everything they said it was going to be.

As for me, working, working, working.  I've been spending a lot of time thinking about just life in general and going through a "life decluttering" phase; hence the defriending post the other day.  I officially left my church and have been visiting some other local ones and I have to tell you, this is not a fun or easy thing to do.  There is no perfect church, and I get that, but it's been nice to feel that lightness and job on a Sunday morning again.

I had some let downs at work; I had asked about coming on full-time but was turned down.  Not permanently, mind you, just not right now.  I was really bummed because I love my job and want to be able to support my family as best as I can - even though that job alone wouldn't cut it, but it would be a start.

So for now it's just us plugging along; work, school, housework...you know, the fun stuff.

Do you "Defriend"?

So I read an interesting little article on BlogHer today titled "Defriending on Facebook".  I was instantly interested because lately there has been someone that I wanted to "defriend" but I think that there could be ramifications if I do.

In the article, the writer talks about defriending a  Facebook friend because though they were close friends at one time, now when she sees this person actually "in" person, they don't acknowledge her.  Interesting.  I think Facebook is a great way to reconnect with people that you really are interested in being friends with from your past but I think we can get caught up in friend requesting people that we are only sort of interested in or because we are just plain curious as to what they turned out to be like in life.

I have numerous Facebook friends that fall in to that category.


So back to my defriending.  I am FB friends with someone who was a good friend for a time, but we've not talked in more than a year, didn't part on the best of terms and to be honest, the pictures that she posts sort of creep me out.  Seriously, when I see one of her pictures, I tend to refresh my page or do whatever possible to get it out of my field of vision.  So why don't I just do it?  Because we have mutual friends.


I certainly don't want to be in one of those awkward conversations where someone will say, "So, you defriended so-and-so...".  Don't think it will happen?  Trust me, it does.  I've had several conversations with people who have been in similar situations and have been questioned (or interrogated) about their defriending.  I really don't want to deal with that but then again, this woman's pictures creep me out.  They're a weird family and I feel better just not associating with them.


So...do you defriend or grin and bear it?

 

Quality customer service...

So I got a new Kindle Touch for Christmas.  It was one of those gifts that I really didn't think that I wanted but now that I have it, I totally love it.  So I've put a bunch of books on it and it took almost a whole month of serious ready before I had to re-charge.  

So I plug it in to the computer to charge it and this morning I go to start it up and do some reading and it froze on my library page.  Okay, fine, I reboot it.  It does the same thing - it starts but freezes on the library page.  I go to the computer and research all of the troubleshooting issues for the Touch.  I find nothing about what it specifically going on with me.

Okay, fine, now I have to chat with an Amazon Kindle person.  I'm not fond of the online chat but I had things to do and not a lot of time so I figured this was the way to go.  I started the chat at 9:45 a.m. and did not get done until almost 11:00 a.m.  During that entire chat time, I not only worked on my Kindle with a super nice guy named Luis, but I did two loads of laundry, took a shower, did my hair and make up, put in my contacts and made lunch.  Luis was very understanding of every time I had to walk away from the computer for those 5 minute tasks.  The five minute shower was a new personal record!

So after I deal with all of my stuff and try everything that sweet little Luis offered, it turns out that my Kindle is defective!  Can you believe it?  Not even a full-month old and it's a bust!  I was a little freaked but Luis assured me that this was not a problem and promptly shipped out a NEW Kindle to me - using next day shipping - and I have to ship my broken one back.  I almost hated to ask what this was going to cost me because I don't have a receipt for the Kindle (Frank didn't save it) and now they upgraded me to the next day shipping and you know what?  

IT WAS ALL FREE!

Now, all I have to do is wait for my new Kindle to arrive, box up the old one and voila!  Done!  BIG round of applause to Amazon customer support.  You guys totally rock!!

When your child doesn't take a good picture...

I have two sons.  They are both the greatest things that ever happened to me.  I love them more than I ever thought humanly possible.  They are opposite in every imaginable way even down to their looks.  Nick is brown hair, brown eyes, olive complexion whereas Michael is blonde, blue eyed and fair skinned.

Nick takes an amazing picture; he is VERY photogenic.  I honestly, in his 20 years of life, have rarely seen a bad picture of him.  Michael is not so fortunate.  He is clearly uncomfortable having his picture taken - and yes, he gets that from his father - but it's gotten to the point where we just don't know what to do about it and he has become aware of it as well.

Last week at school the Ident-a-Kid program came to do ID cards.  We needed one for him and so we signed up and ordered them.  Tonight they texted it to me (I'm not quite sure why...I thought we were getting ACTUAL cards).  Anyway, the picture on this ID rivals Nick Nolte's mug shot.  

I only wish I were kidding.

My beautiful curly headed boy, my sweet little bean, takes horrendous pictures!  I don't understand how such an adorable child can photograph so badly!  He has one eye open, one eye closed in this shot!  How does that even happen???  Getting Christmas card pictures became painful and don't even get me started on school pictures; I had to stop buying them because they won't re-take them the amount of times it takes to get him relaxed enough to get a good shot!  

It's not that his clothes are bad or anything fixable like that.  His curly hair is unruly so what looks fine when he leaves the house is normally out of control by picture time and then...it's his expressions.  All you have to do is glance at one of these shots to see that he feels like he is being sent to his execution.

My poor baby.  Someday he is going to relax enough to let us get some good pictures of him and then I am going to post them all over the place.  Hopefully.

WRAL Sucks!

You know, I have so few things these days that bring me joy.  I have all of three TV shows that I watch that make me happy.  On Monday it is "How I Met Your Mother", Wednesday it is "Modern Family" and on Thursday it is "The Big Bang Theory".  Tonight was to be the 100th episode (all new, might I add) and so at 8:00 I turned on the TV, tuned in to CBS and what did I find?  

College basketball.

Do you know when my show will be aired?  1:37 AM.  

Needless to say I am NOT amused.

So I commented on WRAL's Facebook wall the following:  Not everyone cares about basketball, WRAL! It shows a lack of respect toward your viewers to not air an all-new prime time show in favor of a college event. 

To which they responded:   WRAL is the long-time ACC basketball affiliate in this market, and each season we must carry a certain number of games in primetime. Some are great games - others are not. We must take them all.
Our standard practice is to move the affected network programs overnight so 100% of our viewers at least have the opportunity to record the shows. We could put those shows on a digital channel - but less than 50% of the households in our viewing area have access to that channel, and we don't think that's a good tradeoff.
We understand the frustration that these conflicts cause, but we always try to make the programs available in some fashion. Many of the network shows are available for viewing online the next day at cbs.com, so that is another option.

While it was nice to have them respond, I'm curious as to when I missed the FREE DVR giveaway in which enabled 100% of their viewers the opportunity to record the show.  Seriously?  Um...I don't have DVR.  I barely have cable so this statement angered me even MORE.

Sporting events should be broadcast on separate channels or maybe they should be aired overnight.  I don't see why MILLIONS of viewers who tune in for a network TV show need to be inconvenienced for the thousands who MIGHT (and I'm being generous here with that audience) tune in to watch a college event.


I was always a fan of WRAL but as of now, they have lost a viewer.  I will watch my CBS shows on-line from now on and take every opportunity I have to tell the masses how much WRAL SUCKS.

.99 Cent Kindle Download!

That's right!  My book, Jordan's Return is now only .99 on Kindle this week!  Go and check it out!  Click HERE to go directly to Amazon's page. 

Do you ever just get tired?

I know I've shared this a lot but Frank's being out of work is exhausting to me.  It's not just the extra work and pressure on me that is tiring, it's more.  For years I tried to help him with the business - I'd offer to type up the estimates, come up with advertising ideas, etc.  What I've learned in the process is that we are indeed opposites and sometimes that is a really, really bad thing.

When I would offer to type the estimates, he would wait until I was climbing in to bed to ask "Oh, aren't you going to type this for me?" after I had been sitting next to him for HOURS with no idea that an estimate needed to be typed.  All of my ideas for expanding the business, getting the word out there about the business - basically any input I gave was shot down.

Now here we are.  Two months without work.  Again.  I am now working three part time jobs to help pay the bills and we are still painfully short on making it and guess who wants my help?

Kill me now.

I have helped him compose some emails, I've gone on to Vistaprint and helped create all kinds of free merchandising/advertising material for him and I have tried to be encouraging.  Today?  I was just plain DONE with the whole thing.  I'm tired of writing emails.  I'm tired of helping with the applications.  I'm tired of having to stop what I'm doing to help him find a job.  I know that it sounds stupid because maybe if I help him, something will come through and by not helping him, perhaps I am spiting myself.  But at the same time, I am just TIRED.  

When I was out of work for two years, did he help me find a job?  No.  When I'm trying to find an agent or a publisher, does he help?  No.  When I am freaking out because I don't want to live on the damn street, does he take any job available to help us out.  No.  Maybe I'm trying to justify my screaming like a lunatic until my voice was raw but I am beyond frustrated and tired of having to help him.

Sigh...

Bank hacking, dieting and other things that stink!

I've been negative lately.  I'm sorry.  Just know that today isn't any different.  This morning I get a message on the answering machine from our bank saying that there is an issue with our card and we need to call.  So I call the number and it's an automated service and some of the questions just didn't seem "right".  So I hung up and actually went to the bank's website and called them directly.  Apparently, my instincts were correct.  Someone had hacked my bank card number and had made several purchases and that phone call was one of those fishing things.  They were hoping to get more of my personal information so that they could get more of my financials.  

Really?

I think I am one of the poorest people I know.  I have less that $200 in the bank and you have to hack MY account?  How sucky is that???

Now I'm finishing up the first week of my diet and let me just say, that sucks too.  I was doing a 'jump start' kind of thing and have been really strict with myself and have a good support system around me to encourage me.  

I hate them.

Not really, but when I am losing my mind with hunger, when the thought of another bowl of vegetable soup makes me want to throw up, the last thing I want is a cheering squad around me!  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I was going to opt for a Big Mac or a pepperoni pizza, but to choose some grilled chicken instead of another banana or another bowl of the stupid soup was NOT a choice that was going to kill the diet.  I'm hungry and I'm cranky and I hate that weight loss is so damn hard!

That's not too much to ask, is it???

The End of Online Advertising?

Okay, so those of you on Entrecard probably also use Adgitize.  Well, by now everyone knows that Adgitize went bye-bye.  I never made anything on it so I wasn't too devastated except how it affected my Entrecard life.

For those of you who do neither of these things, I apologize for the foreign language!

You see, ever since I upgraded my internet browser, I can no longer use the Entrecard toolbar.  That sucked.  What I used to be able to do in 55 minutes now takes closer to 90.  I am NOT happy with that.  Having the Adgitize widgets available speeded up the process a little.

Not anymore.

Plus, it seems to me that Entrecard has no interest in upgrading their services.  Does that mean that they are just going to phase out?  I don't know.  But I'm kind of curious as to what is going to happen.  I've contacted them several times and have gotten no response.

Anyone out there in the know?

Are the days getting shorter???

I don't know about you, but lately it seems (even more so) that there is less time in the day.  Nothing in my schedule has changed; I'm still working the same amount of hours and yet I am getting less and less done.  How is that possible?

I have not written here like I have wanted to.  I have three books in various stages that I have not touched/written/edited as they need.  I am getting ready to submit SOMETHING (I still don't know what) to Amazon's Breakthrough Novel Award and to top it off, this stupid diet that I started this week is starting to make me a little crazy.  I'm halfway through this 7-day "jump start" and to be honest, I cheated a little last night.  I had three teaspoons of mac & cheese.  I'm so ashamed!

So where's all my time going?  Is the stress of life really eating away at me that much?  Am I just so tired from the stress that I'm not staying awake as much because I just want the days to end?  I don't know.  All I do know is that I am ready for another writing retreat/escape.

I just wish it could be someplace tropical...

So how's your New Year going so far?

So...it's 2012.  Whoop-dee-do.  Actually, I do have high hopes for this year but so far I am severely unimpressed.  Frank is still not working (we're at a month since his last short job) and I am getting to that point where I am getting to be "not nice" to him.  I don't like getting that way but my frustration level is at its breaking point.

Nick turned 20 yesterday.  I meant to blog about it but I was sort of a wreck about it.  I am no longer the mother of a teenager.  He is out of his teen years.  I have been a parent for 20 years.  That is a very long time.  I don't feel old enough to have a 20 year old and I certainly don't want to think that I LOOK like the mother of a 20 year old.  It was very upsetting.

Since last Thursday I have been to the doctor twice and I have an appointment for a mammogram on Monday.  Apparently I am trying to be healthy in the new year.  

I have organized a "Biggest Loser" challenge in my office.  We start that on Monday.  I think it's going to be fun but I am finding it hard to get psyched up about it when I'm at home when all that is going on here basically sucks right now.  It's hard to find time to exercise when you have a depressed husband moping on the couch staring at you.  It's worse than the creepy guy at the gym!

I have decided that it's time to change churches.  I've had issues for a while and I am finding that they aren't getting any better and so if I want to go to church and actually focus on worshiping God, then I need to be in a place where I respect the leaders.  It wasn't an easy decision and it was rough to tell my small group leader that I was leaving but I am hopeful that this is the year that we find a church home that fits our family and where we feel welcomed.

So here we are; 2012.  My hope is that things get better all around for all of us.  Anyone have any big goals for this year?

Why would they do this???

I have worked for companies that have had to close their doors in the past.  In retail, you sell off everything that you can and then you donate the rest.  It just makes sense.  In this economy, particularly now with so many people in need of just about everything, how can a company explain such blatant disregard of merchandise?

 Have you seen this?  A bridal shop in Minnesota closed/went out of business and destroyed all of these gowns!  You cannot tell me that they couldn't sell these at drastically reduced prices to regain some of their costs or donate them to military future-brides or something!  I think it's a disgrace.  

Now before someone starts yelling, I get it; it is their merchandise to do with as they please but when so many people are struggling, was this truly the best option for anyone?  Were they so bitter about closing that this was their way of flipping people off?  

Bad business.  Maybe THAT'S why they closed their doors...sucky attitudes.

Happy New Year!!!

Here's to a happy and prosperous 2012 for us all.  Happy New Year!!

New Year's Dilemma...

Okay, okay, I know, opposites attract.  I get it.  For years Frank and I have marveled at the fact that we are so opposite and yet things just work.  

Until now.

So I made the mistake of asking what we were going to do for New Year's.  Keep in mind that for the most part, we are home-bodies on New Year's.  We never got the babysitter and went out; if we went anywhere, the kids came with us.  It's always worked and when we weren't out somewhere (which, in itself was rare) we were home and made a nice little party just for us with all of our favorite snacks.

Anyway, one of the first options was to see what the band was doing.  I think we were both hoping for just a small get-together with JUST the band and our families.  That is not going to work out.  In fact, one of the guys already has a big shindig planned and extended the invite to all of us but to be honest...that is so NOT going to happen.  

I have issues.  HUGE issues.  I have good reasons for these issues and because of them, in the past, it was decided that we NOT go to one of these shindigs ever again for the sake of our marriage.  It was bad.  This led to a discussion of what we could do, what we should do, blah, blah, blah.  I am not one of those people that feels that we need to be joined at the hip all night on New Year's.  If he wants to go and hang out with his friends for a little while and I go and hang out with my friends for a little while and then we are home together at midnight, I am A-OK with that.  

He is not.

It's hard to make compromises in situations like this.  We have each bitten the bullet and gone to a social function where we were uncomfortable and I think we are finally at the point where we can comfortably say to one another "You know what?  I'm not going to do that anymore."  It sounds cold, I know, but there it is.  I don't want him to be uncomfortable and while I know he doesn't (STILL) understand my discomfort, he begrudgingly accepts my discomfort and doesn't want any issues that will cause harm to our marriage arise again.

So where does it leave us for New Year's?  I still don't know.  I hate to see him miss out on something where all of his friends are, but not enough that I am willing to subject myself to things that I find repulsive and behavior that I am against.  Not anymore.

If I could, I would gladly just stand firm and sing "Should old acquaintance be forgot..."

I Want to Finish 2011 Strong!!!

Okay, I'm not going to lie to you, I really had some very unrealistic dreams of what my book sales would be.  To say that I fell short of them would be a severe understatement.  So what I want to do is to just remind all of you, my faithful readers - who just might have gotten an e-Reader for Christmas - that my book "Jordan's Return" is available on Kindle and Nook along with other formats on Smashwords and then, of course, in paperback on Amazon.  Here are all of the links:
 
Kindle

Nook

Smashwords

Amazon.com

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see some sale action this week like I did in that first week of release so if you got a new eReader or know someone who did who is looking for something to read, "Jordan's Return" is a good place to start and it's still only $1.99!!