Monday, December 29, 2008

Where's the Line? it's just a dot....

Okay, in today's bizarre parenting moment I find myself completely stumped, confused and just in general in denial. If only I could pull a blanket up over my head and not come out until sometime in 2012. Not gonna happen, I know, but wouldn't it be nice? But I digress...

New Year's Eve is just a few days away. I'm not a huge fan of going out and partying on the Eve - it's just not my thing. Never was, never going to be. I am more of a homebody. I enjoy ringing in the New Year preferably at home, maybe a few friends with us, and most definitely with my husband. Most year's I get that wish although we tend to be at someone else's house every couple of years. I can handle that. Well this year we are invited to a party almost 2 hours away from home with people that I do not know. I am NOT very excited about this. This party, however, will allow my husband to live out his dream and play with his band in front of a group of people (meaning people other than me and the boys). He is very excited about it - to say the least - and seems to be counting down the days until it's here. Now, he knows that I am not thrilled about going but we have agreed that we will never willingly spend a holiday apart. So I am going. Two hours away. With people that I don't know. Have I mentioned that my usual bedtime is 11:30 and on New Year's I normally have to force myself to stay up until 12:30?

Sigh. I'm SO not a rebel.

But believe it or not, that's NOT the issue here. The issue is the teenager. Gasp! Shock! Surprise! As a boy about to turn 17, he so does NOT want to hang with his parents on New Year's Eve. That's fine because, as parents, we so do NOT want to spend the night with an angst-ridden teen. But being that we are going to be two hours from home, what's the boy to do? Have the house to himself for a party? Uh, no. Should he be out cruising around town in a friend's car? Not while I'm still alive. Option number three had him hanging out at his girlfriend's house. Well, that's all fine and well but how does he get HOME from his girlfriend's house? I'm thinking that the earliest we'll be back in town is around 3 a.m. The girlfriend's parents are nice and all, but I know that I would not want to be woken up at 3 a.m. when someone comes knocking on the door to pick someone up. So we're trying to work out all of the logistics on this one when the boy comes to me and says that the parents have offered to let him SLEEP OVER.


Um, excuse me, is everyone aware that these kids are 16 years old and this is a bit inappropriate? I mean, they're good kids and all, but they are human. Why, oh why, would we think that this is okay? Where's the line? Oh, sure, sleep over now because it's New Year's but then what? Oh, but it's (fill in name here) birthday and it's late. Can't he just sleep over? Then it goes to, hey, it's Tuesday, can't he just sleep over? I mean where does it end? At some point we probably won't even be ASKED if it's okay because it's been going on for so darn long!

There are several issues at work here. First, I, personally don't think it's appropriate. Second, I seem to be a magnet for all of the uptight mom's of the world to come and yell at to tell me what a bad, horrible child I have. If this gets out, I might as well paint a big red target on my body and stand in the town square. The funny thing about that, though, is that most of these women who come in to tell me how bad Nick is, usually are freak's themselves with pretty heinous children too (although they think them to be angels). Third, we know many parents of teens (Christian parents of teens) who have allowed this sort of situation to happen and things have worked out fine - due to the parental guidance - but I am still not comfortable. And finally, does the guest room have a lock from the outside with lazer beam alarms that detect the slightest human motion near the door? I JUST DON'T KNOW!!!

Oy, it all gives me a headache. Why can't life be simple again where we all were together on a holiday? Or maybe NOT playing with the band two hours away from home. With people we don't know. Until the wee hours of the morning.

I hate change.


Loralee Choate said...

FUCK NO. (Can I say that here?)

See if his parents would be willing to drive him home after midnight and ask that they call you on your cell (or you call them) to confirm his safe delivery AT HOME. If they are willing to let him sleep over, this shouldn't be a problem.

If being out late is an issue for them, then have them take him home whenever they feel comfortable doing so.

(God. Sleepovers in high school. It makes me want to put my children in a tower and pretend they haven't gone past middle school)

StaceyC4 said...

I KNOW!!! So you see my dilemma. The boy still doesn't fully grasp WHY we're upset but has agreed that a sleepover is not an option. YEA!

Why is parenting a teen so difficult????

Jane said...

Stacey, you are a HOOT! People today (parents) have lost their minds, I know of several couples who allow their daughters boyfriends to stay over night in the same ROOM! What are they thinking? Our children need parents to say NO, absolutely not! What about him and the girlfriend going to the party with you and Frank? Oh well, you didn't ask my opinion. I have seen some "good" kids do some really "bad" things lately and it breaks my heart. Have a great New Years Eve.