Monday, October 15, 2012

Choose to Remember the Good Times

So last week my stepfather passed away.  Well, I don't know if I can even call him that.  I mean, he and my mom were together for like 20 years but they had been divorced now for about 5.  They had a fairly complicated marriage and somehow we all never quite meshed.

There were many years where we didn't speak and weren't part of each others lives.  There were times when there was a lot of anger and hurtful things said.  I spent so many years of my life focusing on the negative that it got to be exhausting.  Wouldn't you rather laugh than cry?  Wouldn't you rather smile than frown?

So as many people rejoiced in this man's passing, I felt grief.  I was saddened by the fact that there were people who were happy that he was gone.  I don't ever want to think that there will be a day where people are dancing and clapping because I am dead.  I am choosing to remember the good times.

I can remember the time he brought me homemade chicken soup when I was in high school because I was home sick.  I remember getting take out Chinese on a Friday night just because.  I remember him calming me down after a fight with my mother and telling me that he loved me.  I remember all of the times that he was good to my children.

Believe me, if I allowed myself to truly be honest, there were much more harsh memories than good ones but what good does focusing on the bad do?  A life is over.  Wouldn't you rather be remembered for the things you did right than for the things you did wrong?

Rest in peace...