Sunday, December 21, 2008

Giving Life to Someone Means Nothing Apparently...

If you are a mom, remember the joy you felt when you first found out you were pregnant? The thrill of seeing those first ultrasound pictures and trying to figure out where exactly their little head is? Or how about the first flutter of movement of your new little person moving around inside of you? These are all HUGE events.

As life progresses you celebrate all of your children's milestones - first words, first steps, first day of school, etc. They give you joy, they give you stress. Your heart breaks with them when they suffer disappointments and you feel rage when someone hurts them. I remember the name of every person who has ever hurt my children and no matter how much time has passed, if I see any of those people, my first thought it "You are the one who hurt my child."

Our children don't seem to realize the depth of our emotions towards them and our role as their parents. In the blink of an eye, we are tossed aside for anything and anyone and to be honest, it hurts. But does the child care about our feelings even though we have spent their entire lives caring for theirs? Apparently not.

This morning my soon-to-be 17 year old informed us that he did not want any part of us on his birthday. He's willing to use our home for a get together with his friends the night BEFORE his birthday, but on the day of his birthday he'd rather spend it at his girlfriend's house with her family. When we explained to him that as his parents, we retain the right to have him here on his birthday, he flat out told us that he does not want to be with us - it's his birthday, he'll do what he wants.

Parents, how do you deal with such ungratefulness? How do you deal with the hurt? I mean, I'm not asking him to sit through party games with hats and play pin the tail on the donkey, I'm asking for a family dinner to celebrate the day we became his parents. Up until we moved away from our families, I spent every birthday with at least ONE of my parents for a meal - and that was until the age of 27! I'm sad. We may not have the nicest house, or be able to give all of the things that we would like to give, but honestly, I was unprepared for quite such a blow-off.

The joy of giving life? Not so much.


Jane said...

Stacey, I know how you feel. Our oldest is 23 and then there is Jessie 19 (independent) and Alyssa (13) then the (10yr. old). I remember both of my oldest wanting to spend their birthdays with friends or others around the same age as your son. While it is natural and part of God's plan for them to start becoming more independent it breaks a Mom's heart. We did give them a family thing here and then allowed them to go and celebrate with friends. I share your pain. Most times it is only for a season, my 23 yr. old enjoys being home now and loves to be here to eat his homemade birthday cakes and favorite meal.

See ya,

StaceyC4 said...

Thank you, Renee, for helping me keep things in perspective. You are a blessing!