Friday, March 20, 2009

Somebody get me a Kleenex!

I drove my husband to the airport this morning. It was so weird because the last time...well, there never was a last time I drove Frank to the airport! He is usually taking me to the airport for ME to get away! This is only the third time in his entire life that he is flying and the first time since 9/11.

I have to admit that there is a certain freedom that comes because of this but at the same time I am just so SAD! He laughed when I told him that because he's like "You go away a lot and it's fine". Well, sure. But then I'm the one leaving to go and do something fun. I'm not here in our home going on with life alone. Dramatic, right? He's on his way right now to New York to bring back Nick's car. He's staying at his sister's house. He's going to go fishing. He's having dinner at a friend's house tomorrow night. He's driving home on Sunday. I mean, there is nothing out of the ordinary here and yet I cried all the way home from the airport! How demented am I??? There are times where Frank has gone to work up in Virginia and he is gone overnight - two days. I have a hard time with that too.

So while I'm sobbing and driving on the expressway, I'm trying to focus on the positive - my son will have his car Sunday night! Yea! Then that brings on a whole new set of tears because it is my grandmother's car and I miss her and I'd rather have her here than the damn car. I'm reaching for a Kleenex as I type! I had this image in my mind of taking pictures of him with his first car and that made me sad because I remember the day grandma told Nick she wanted him to have it how happy she would be to see him driving it.

I know, I'm in serious bummer mode right now. I'm sorry, I can't even help it! I need something positive to happen today. I need some good news. I'm not going to think about all of the planes that just drop out of the sky or crazy people driving drunk or crazy on I-95. I'm just going to try and block all of that out! Then I'll just have time to focus on the fact that I'm going for a mammogram tomorrow.

Cathleen? When is it time to party?

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