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Tuesday, March 3, 2009

How do we get there?

I think one of the biggest common conceptions of men (from women) is that they do not stop and ask for direction. Right? Well here's one for you...what about men who forget how to get anywhere only when YOU (the woman) are in the car with them?

Seriously.

We have lived in North Carolina for almost 14 years. We have lived in the same house all that time. We don't venture more than 20 miles from the house most days. As a self-employed man, he can get himself anywhere as long as I am not in the vehicle with him. Why is this? Well, I'd like to say that it is because I am so darn smokin hot that the man cannot focus on anything except for the wonder that is me! But that is so totally not the case. Even with the highlights!

So why can this seemingly intelligent man not drive with me? It's become a long standing joke at home but to be honest, it is seriously annoying. Yesterday we went out to buy him shoes. He was driving. I asked where we were going about five minutes in to the drive because I was under the impression that we were going someplace completely different. "To Payless" he says. Then I had to remind him that Payless was on the other side of town. That was not the answer he was looking for and for a brief moment wanted to argue the point. "Why would I lie?" I asked him. Honestly, where do I benefit from telling you that there isn't a shoe store where you thought there was? I'm all for a leisurely drive but we had a purpose for being out! Now we have to get to the ACTUAL shoe store. He starts to drive and asks which way he should go. I replied "Just go straight around here and get back on Capital Blvd." I even waved my hand around (in a very Italian way that I do) to show the sway and curve of the road. So in my mind, not only had I TOLD him the way to go, in my own little way, I showed him too.

Clearly not. He asked "So should I turn around here and go back to Capital?" Now, while true, he could have gone both ways, we were already HEADING towards the darn road. Why would we U-turn it around? I DON'T KNOW! Now I'm snippy and repeat myself. My tone was not nice and now HE was ticked. He slammed the brakes and I was sure that I was going to be walking home. Luckily I did not have to but I'm still baffled by this.

I mean, the town has changed a LOT since moving there all those years ago but this is just one example of how a simple trip to the store goes! I had to remind him that he ASKED for the directions! I was not just TELLING him where to go (although I did tell him exactly where he could go before it was all over).

What is it with men and directions? It's a no win! They won't ask, you're not allowed to tell! It's a miracle than any of us get anywhere. Ladies, do you often wonder that you are not have more car accidents while out running your errands because of all of these men who have no clue how to get from point A to point B? I for one am stumped! Although, in all fairness to my husband's condition, he CAN drive quite well without me, it's just when I am physically in the car that he cannot.

Maybe I'm hotter than I think I am!

2 comments:

Dotwigg said...

That is priceless!! I love the positive attitude and looking for a reasonable cause for his "inability" (ha ha, oh my belly hurts. I needed that today :)

This is also a positive about my weight issue, I out weigh my husband so I can't be put out of the car, cause I won;t go--I would be lost in Wake Forest with no idea how to get home :(.

Serenity.. do not ask why. Just embrace your Hotness :)

Nani said...

perhaps the answer to the problem is...dont let him drive. You are the designated driver...esepecially w/the aweson highlights, your public can see you better.