Friday, March 20, 2009

...Now Get Me Some Advil!

Oy, what a day!!! Early today I wrote about how I took Frank to the airport, I cried, I was sad, blah, blah, blah. Well, once he landed and was safely on the ground and awaiting the arrival of his brother-in-law, he called me to tell me that it all went well. I was greatly relieved. You see, my sweet, sweet husband is not long on patience and yet has to "mull things over" for LONG periods of time before he can do what needs to be done. If ever there was a guy who was going to get picked out of a security line in an airport, it would be him. Luckily that was not the case today.

Praise the LORD!!

So he calls to tell me that he is fine and I was very happy. We agree that we will talk tonight. Twenty minutes later he calls again. He needs directions to my mom's house to go and pick up Nick's car. So I'm telling him that it is right off Montauk Highway. While this means NOTHING to 99.999% of you reading this, having lived almost 30 years on Long Island, this should have meant everything to him and explained it all. It did not. I could think of no other way of saying this. I'm like "Get on Montauk Highway and go to Brightwaters, it's easy!" No, no it wasn't. Now remember that we have already established that he and I do NOT do well with driving directions, right? So now he's snippy and is like "I GUESS I should have just called your mother!" You guessed right, buddy!

Not missing him so much right now.

Thirty minutes later he calls AGAIN. Seriously, how can you even get the opportunity to MISS someone when they just won't stop calling! By this time the Kleenex is a thing of the past and I'm thinking of unplugging the phone! Now he's at my mom's and guess what? He LOCKED THE KEYS IN THE CAR!!! He has been there all of 15 minutes and already has a problem. So mom's running around trying to find something to help him open the doors with and he's asking me what he should do!


He gets the doors open, the car starts right up and all was well. Fast forward six hours (I know, long break) and he's back in the car, calling me. Why? He needs DIRECTIONS!!!


He's heading to a friend's house - who, FYI, has lived in the same house for like 20 years and we were just there in October - and he can't remember how to get there. He's like "I just got off 111 at Main Street and I don't know where the hospital is." Because you know how often major hospitals get moved! So I tell him to STAY on Main Street (aka - Montauk Highway) and pretty much, you won't be able to MISS IT! Next thing I hear is "Holy crap I gotta call you back!" and he hangs up!

I have a very active imagination. As a matter of fact, I have an OVERLY active imagination. In my mind he is getting pulled over. He's getting a ticket. No, he's getting thrown in the back of a police car because he is driving a car that is registered to ME it probably has an out-of-date inspection sticker AND he's driving around with two TV's in the back seat (true story)! He's argued with the cop and now will be taken to jail and I will have to try and come up with BAIL money in a month that funds are low (thank you, Nick) and I'll have to decide WHO to call to go and bail him out!! WHY WON'T HE CALL BACK!!!

He did a few minutes later. Turns out he just flicked a cigarette ash the wrong way and it landed on the floor of the car rather than out the window and he needed to make sure that it was out. Way more boring than my riveting cop-fight scenario but made my night a whole lot calmer. He is off to jam with the band tonight and very excited about it. Me too. I'm glad he's having a good time. I'm glad that he has something to do.

I'm glad that he will NOT be calling me again tonight. My mind can't take it!

1 comment:

Nani said...

LOL! So are you missing today or not? I'm afraid to think what will happen tomorrow when he is driving back from NY and calls for directions.