When my first child was born, all was right with the world. I had the most perfect pregnancy with him, he was a healthy and wonderful baby, a cheerful, easy-going toddler and a wonderful child all around.
What the hell happened???
My days are now spent with an almost scripted existence:
Son: "Mom, can I go to...(girlfriend's house) today?"
Me: "Did you do your school work?"
Son: "Yes"
Me: "Are your chores done?"
Son: "Yes"
Me: "Do you have a ride there?"
Son: "Yes"
Me: "Okay, I'll see you later."
What normally happens at a point to be determined later is that A.) His school work is only half done. B.) His chores are only half done and C.) I realize that I am an idiot who has been conned again. You'd think I'd learn.
By the time he gets home later in the evening, I am near unconciousness due to a long day that began at the crack of dawn and all I really want to do is go to bed. But I have an obligation to myself to make this child understand all that he has done wrong to me.
Me: "Why wasn't your school work done?"
Son: "Oh, I, uh...didn't think that it ALL had to be done today. I'll finish it tomorrow."
Me: "Make sure that you do! And the dishes? Seriously? They were cleaner before you washed them?"
Son: (Thoroughly insulted) What?? They're fine. You know what? Sometimes they're not clean when YOU wash them.
Me: (Too busy seeing red to reply)
Son: "Can I go to ...(girlfriend's house) tomorrow?"
Me: "Sure, just make sure all of your stuff is done."
I should be ashamed of myself for being manipulated like this. So how do you snap a self-centered child out of his self-centeredness? Do you ground him and force him to be alone/without his girlfriend? Maybe, but that's just punishing myself. Do we take away priviledges? Sure, tried that but basically the whining was on par with not seeing his girlfriend. So I am basically being held hostage by this self-absorbed teenager who just doesn't get it!!! Today we explained to him how the increase in gas prices is starting to really hit us and that we cannot take him everywhere that he wants to go. He converses with us like he understands the English language and when you ask him specifically if he understands he says 'yes'. Feeling successful, I turn to walk away when I hear,
"Hey, can I go to ...(girlfriend's house) today."
The pieces of my brain can still be seen embedded in the livingroom ceiling. Being single was much less stressful.
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