Friday, May 30, 2008

The Date That Almost Was...

My parents split up when I was 10 years old. With 40 fast approaching, it is safe to say that I am over this trauma. In the time since their 14 year marriage ended, they have both re-married and divorced spouse number 2. I liked my step-mom, hated my step-dad. I never blamed these second spouses for the divorce mainly because they came along way after the ink was dry on the papers.

Time heals all wounds, they say, and I guess that phrase really is true because these two people who hated eachother and made my life a living hell for too many years to count with their "I'm not going if your father is there!" or "Sorry, I can't help you Stace but that would be like helping your mother." Anyone who believes that the children aren't involved in the divorce is just plain stupid. They were childish and mean and because of their issues, my dad was not allowed at my high school graduation party, my mom missed my wedding and the birth of my first child. They hated eachother THAT MUCH that it was worth missing these events. But I digress. Back in October something weird happened. I spoke to both of my parents at the same time. They were in the same room together. They were eating dinner with one another - and no sharp utensils had to be removed beforehand! They were sharing a bottle of wine and having a great time. This was very unnerving to me because I honestly cannot remember a time in my life where they were both together and...happy. The reason for this particular reunion was that they were going to go to one of my dad's cousins 50th wedding anniversary party. Dad had to fly up to NY for it, he stayed at my sister's house and well, there was mom. He knew how much my mom loved his family and invited her to go with him. Okay, it was a reasonable thing. My sister went with them - they were a family unit. They went, they had fun, took some pictures and he went home.

But now he's going back. He's going back up to NY for his high school reunion and asked my mom to go with him! It's not like she graduated with him so she has no real reason to go. But the thing is that he even asked her! ICK!! You know, how about asking her to go to my wedding? How about inviting her to the hospital to meet her grandchild? Sure, those minor events, no, not important enough to let her be there but a high school reunion? Gang way, people, this is BIG! Can't let her miss this one!

Is she going with him? No. Oh, but not because of the hard feelings from the past or because she finds him disgusting or the fact that it's just too damn weird to go on a date with your ex-husband, but because she had already committed to going to the engagement party of my sister's best friend. THAT was her only reason, otherwise, she would have gone.

I so need therapy.

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