Friday, May 9, 2008

Take two asprin and call me in the morning...

Oh, if only. Monday night I got a headache. There was a storm front moving through and it took several doses of Advil before I felt okay. Tuesday night I had what I thought was just an allergy attack but it's never gone away. My head is packed up, I sneeze alot and the congestion is just miserable.

I have to admit, I am a lousy patient. I don't like being sick and basically I want to take something and have the whole thing done with. By Thursday when I still wasn't feeling better, I went to the doctor. "What can I do for you?" the doctor asked. "Well," I begin, "I think I have a sinus infection." I describe my symptoms and she nods. "What have you taken?" she asked. "Benedryl," I start and she says "It did nothing, right?" I nod. "I tried Tylenol Severe Cold," I add - to which she responds "Not much happened with that, did it?" Clearly she knows where I'm going but we're going to walk in circles a little bit longer. I agree with the Tylenol assessment and finally say, "And the Nyquil only puts me to sleep." Now she's quiet pleased with herself and tells me how all of those things were wrong and how I've danced around what really needs to be done.


If that's the case, then clearly someone better start re-writing the syptoms on all of the above mentioned boxes. I mean Nyquil clearly states that it is the sniffling (got it), sneezing (yup), coughing (a little), aching (not so much), stuffy head (um..YES), blah, blah, blah. Why wouldn't it work? The Tylenol, was the SEVERE head cold medicine. Shouldn't that have made a dent in the stuffy head category? Long story short, she doesn't charge me for the visit and tells me to take the generic version of Mucinex-D and that I should feel better in a few days. It's just a virus, no big deal. Except that it is. I'm miserable. I feel miserable. I walk around with a box of Vicks coated tissues and gasp for breath. Virus, my butt! It's Mother's Day weekend, for crying out loud! I have plans! I'm supposed to go out with friends tomorrow night. Who knows if I'll actually be able to go. The kids are tired of hearing my sneeze. Nick keeps wanting me to go and take a nap and Michael just wants to snuggle with me until he realizes that I have to keep sitting up to sneeze and that just interrupts Sponge Bob. Frank's home and even though we've been through the flu and a never-ending migraine cycle that began in March with him, I'm killing HIM.

I want the kind of cold that people on TV get. You know, where it begins at 8:03 pm and by the time the show wraps up at 8:28, they're cured. That's my kind of illness. How do I get one of those?

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