Reject here!

Something that a lot of you don't know about me is that I am a secret writer. It's true. I have a love of writing chick-lit and have since the age of 12 and only in the last 4 years have I really gotten serious about it. I sent in my first manuscript, well...4 years ago, it got rejected and then I stopped. Sort of. I wrote, but I didn't do anything with what I wrote until last summer. My confidence was back and I have to admit, I hated the thought of letting my dream die. My mom, who is also a secret writer, was getting back in to her groove too, and so we were helping one another out with the editing process. Well, I helped her, she never did give me her feedback on mine. Hmmm...

So now as I am approaching 40 - do you notice I'm mentioning that fact quite a bit lately? Maybe I have issues - but I have the dream to be published by the time I'm 40. Okay, yes, those of you who know me know I write a bi-weekly newsletter for the bookstore and this blog, but frankly it's not enough. I want to hold something in my hands and say, "Yeah, I wrote this."

Back in August I found an agent. She praised my work, her critique people praised my work and I thought I was on my way. I signed a 6-month contract and waited. And waited. And waited. By the end of the 6th month, I had had enough of her "waiting is the hardest part" form e-mails and decided not to renew my option with her. So I send my stuff to another agency in March and got accepted. Not as much praise but a positive response nonetheless. The catch? They want $425 up-front to get started. Not gonna happen. After some research (she accepted my mom, too) we found out that this agency was a little less than reputable. Sunday afternoon found me bored and so I sat at the computer all the live-long day and tried to find another agency. I queried 10 of them that day. Well, so far I've gotten three rejections this week and I've got to tell you, it doesn't feel good. I know that any writer you meet will say that they have a stack 2-3 inches thick of rejections. Well, bully for them but I still don't like it. I feel like I could be 440 and still never be published! What kind of dream is that???

For now I'll continue to write when I can get the men out of the house so that I can have peace. I'll keep searching for that elusive agent who loves me and sells my stuff fast. Hopefully I'll get to enjoy this before I have to receive the news in my 'good' ear and have to put my teeth in to reply!