Friday, August 8, 2008

This one's not named Mickey

One night many, many years ago (long before Michael was born), Nick and I were home alone. Frank was out visiting a friend. I went in to the kitchen to get something to drink and out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move across the floor. Something small and dark. Something with a tail.


I can honestly say that in that moment I became that stereotypical woman who jumped up on the sofa and screamed like a girl. I called Frank and told him to come home NOW! He did and I waited patiently on the couch until he had searched the house for the offensive little creature. He was not to be found. The next day we went out and bought mouse traps. For a week, we caught nothing. I was beginning to feel like maybe it was an isolated incident and that we were indeed, mouse free.

I normally go to bed around 11:00 at night. Late nights are not my thing. I said good night to Frank and went to bed. Some time later I was awakened by the coat rack in our living room crashing to the floor and Frank yelling at someone. And I mean yelling. "You think you can f___ with me?! I'll kill you!"

More things crashed to the floor and slammed in to the walls.

At this point, I am convinced that there is some criminal or something in the house and that I need to get up and help my husband by calling 9-1-1. So I carefully emerge from the bedroom to find my living room in shambles and Frank kneeling in the dining room in the corner.

"What's going on?" I asked. I can see that he's got some sort of 2x4 in his hand, braced on the floor. It was dark and I couldn't quite see what he was doing.
"Go get a box," he hissed, and then added, "Ha, I got you mother f_____r!" I came back in to the room with the only box I could find - it was a shoe box - and there, under the piece of wood, was the mouse. Frank scooped it up, put it in the box, tossed it in the dumpster next door. When he came back in I asked how the house came to look like a tornado had come through. "Well," he hesitated, "you see, every night when you go to bed and turn out the bedroom light, the mouse comes out from under the bedroom door."

What the...???


"So, I watched his pattern of behavior for the last week and tonight, I blocked him."
"The mouse! I put Nick's lunchbox in his path and he ran in to it, it stunned him and then I chased him around until I killed him with the 2x4."

Now, just picturing this in my mind is enough to make me laugh but he was so serious about it, so proud of the fact that he had out-smarted the mouse, I had to keep it all inside. I did, however, never let him forget about it. EVER.

Tonight I went in to the kitchen to get something to drink...Frank's out in the shed getting a 2x4 as we speak. It's going to be a long night.

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