Thursday, April 16, 2009

Some Shrink Would Have a Field Day With Me!

It is so cliche - the whole "issues with my dad" thing. So many people have them. Lately, I am having a field day with mine. Why?


Okay so my sister is planning a weekend trip down to Florida to see my dad. Why? Because he keeps asking her to. Does he EVER ask me to come down and visit? No. I know, I know...I don't really WANT to visit him but it would be nice if he at least PRETENDED to want to see me once in a while. They are going to go to Disney together for the weekend. Talk about a double slap in the face. So while my sister is going on and on and on about this weekend she is planning my mind is a whirling. There are so many issues, it's unbelievable.

First, why, why, WHY does my own father not want to see me? He used to get at me all the time about how he felt that I favored Michael over Nick and CLEARLY he favors Karen over me. Every man my sister has ever been married to or been involved with, dad thinks is great. They've been alcoholics, cheaters and just plain slack-assy but they are swell guys in dad's mind. Husband number two became the executor of my dad's estate. Meanwhile, Frank and I have been married for close to 20 years, he makes me extremely happy and barely EVER gets any kind of kind words spoken about him by any member of my family. I don't get it!! I don't understand why we are such freakin' freaks that just don't rate in any way, shape or form.

I don't play his game, I admit that. I don't "Ooh" and "Ahh" over everything that he does. I'm not impressed with his Soprano-wanna-be lifestyle. I think that for many years he made his second wife dress as a cheap bimbo (I may have said that to his face at one point, but I'm not sure). I live a very simple life. I don't go out "clubbing", I don't drink and I've never done drugs. I'm pretty much as opposite as I can be from him. But I am still his daughter. I still have feelings and I still deserve to shown some common courtesy.

I asked my mom about this last night because I was just so annoyed with the whole thing and she was very wise and very honest. She said he does these things because he cannot really be himself when I am around. My sister does all of the "flash" things with him - they'll go to over-priced restaurants and rave about the food. They'll drink, they'll club. Me and Frank? Well, we're pretty much our happiest sitting around over a good, home-cooked meal and good conversation. I can remember one New Year's Eve when we were still dating that we met up with dad and Collette at a restaurant after midnight. It was so utterly and completely awkward that I never, ever wanted to do it again. They were so drunk it was embarrassing and honestly, the people they were with were creepy.

So yes, I know that I am better off for NOT putting myself (or him for that matter) in situations that are really not comfortable for either of us, but the little girl in me just sometimes would like to know that her father actually gives a damn about her and would like to spend a day with her. That's not so horrible, right?


Loralee Choate said...

I learned by having my own kids that I LOVE them both. I LIKE one of them more. (Yeah. Few actually admit to something like this, but I do.)

We're just more compatible. It's human nature.

However? WHAT A PRICK for letting you know that. (If you know what I mean.) My kids will never know. I treat them equally.

Just by his life choices he seems selfish and it is more obvious by his parenting skills (or lack thereof)

StaceyC4 said...

I know what you mean. I totally "get" Nick, Michael is a mystery to me but I love them both the same. Luckily I learned early on that it is hurtful to show that kind of favoritism so that my kids won't be subjected to it.