Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Honestly, It's like living with the Hulk!

You know how when you go food shopping and you buy things like jarred pickles or those two liter bottles of soda that when you go to open them you feel like you need some sort of super-human strength?

Welcome to every day in my world. All day. All the time.

Frank is freakishly strong. Seriously. Other people know it too because it is just expected that he can move all kinds of things on his own that two people together would not. So no matter what is in my home, if it has a lid, it is on there. Tight. Freakishly, freakishly tight.

It's not unusual for there to be an "open" bottle of soda that takes three of us to open to have some. Why? Because Frank was the last to use it and put the cap back on as if he were fighting with the bottle and trying to teach it a lesson. Jars of pickles? The metal lids look really battered by the time we are done with them because I have to keep beating them with a knife to try and loosen them after Frank has used them. This morning I was in the shower and reached to use my little jar of peppermint foot scrub. Do you have any idea how hard it already is to open a wet jar with WET hands? Well, imagine trying that after the bionic man has closed the lid! I nearly broke a hip after I lost my footing while twisting around trying to get that baby open!

And it's not just things with lids, it's clothes, too. I've never seen a human being rip their clothes the way he does. Well, that's not true. Six year old boys seem to rip their jeans with the greatest of ease but my 45-year old husband could really give them a run for their money! Belt loops are constantly torn. Why? Because he wears his key ring on them and apparently, this item too fights him and so, to show it who is truly the boss, he rips it off. That will teach that key ring to put up a fight!! Then there are the knees in all of his pants. I mean, I know that he climbs ladders and occasionally will have to crawl around on a roof or the occasional wooden deck, but some of these pants look like he's been crawling on broken glass for miles! Maybe the pants fight him while he's putting them on and he's teaching them a lesson too. I don't know. All that I do know is that I am tired of both seeing him in ripped clothing AND having to replace the darn ripped clothing!

Not all clothing and inanimate objects are fighting you, sweetheart. Take it easy. Show them some love. Trust me, they respect you. There's no need to keep showing them who is boss. They know it is you. They love you and so do I.

Oh, and on a side note, he is down to less than one pack of cigarettes a day!!!


carol at A Second Cup said...

YAY Frank!

Rhonda "Roo" said...

Very funny!

And congratulations on the smoking issue Frank. Keep it up. My Dad quit cold-turkey after smoking for nearly 50 years. If he can do it, ANYONE can do it.