Thursday, February 19, 2009

Love Ya! (Not so much)

"Love ya!" Have you ever had a friend say that to you? I know that I have and I've said it back. I usually mean it but the phrase really has no meaning to some people and they really shouldn't say it. It is something to say and means squat.

Nothing. Nada. Zip.

Case in point: I have a friend who I have know now for around three years. We're not best friends but we talk to each other several times a week and whenever I see her, when she is leaving she says "Love ya!" or "Love you!" and will even add on "Really!" Sweet, right? We've shared child-rearing challenges, marriage struggles and just general conversation. We've dined together, cried together and laughed together. That's what friends do, right?

I guess there are things that friends are NOT supposed to do. And that is to confide in one another when something is wrong. No, I shouldn't say that, if you phrase your problem with "Please pray for me because..." THEN it is okay, but if you just come out with something that is bothering you and just need to vent, that is wrong. That is un-Christian and that, apparently, is gossiping. So I guess in some people's minds it is okay to gossip, complain, whine, and generally mooch off of everyone as long as it is worded correctly and you ask for prayer first. But do NOT just be human, do NOT just be a friend because THAT is wrong. Hey, FYI, asking for prayer before you say or do something offensive does not make it LESS offensive. I am so tired of people thinking themselves superior by putting the name of our Lord in front of their bad behavior and thinking that that excuses it! IT DOESN'T.

Here's another news flash - we're all human. None of us are perfect. When someone comes to you and points out something that you've done that is less than perfect, that doesn't give you the right to throw someone else under the bus to take the focus off of YOU and YOUR bad behavior. Nice try, but a bit of a juvenille tactic. My kids do that and it doesn't work.

So save your "Love ya's" and your "Mean it! Really!" because it means not a thing. True colors were shown. I openly admit that I am not perfect. I openly admit that there are people in this world who annoy the snot out of me. And you know why? Because THEY are not perfect either. If you cannot be a friend and talk to someone without throwing it back in their face to cover your own behind, then don't pretend to be a friend.

You know, we've always told our children that we can tolerate anything except lying. Same goes for me with my friends. Don't lie and don't be a phoney. In my opinion, there is nothing worse than that.

1 comment:

Nani said...

I know it hurst and I am sorry that you are going throw this.