Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Amatuer Psychology...

This morning I was watching a re-run of the TV show "Wings". It was one of those crossover episodes and Frasier and Lilith from "Cheers" were on. Frasier was on the island of Nantucket to do a psychology seminar on self-esteem. I always liked the Frasier character and he was truly brilliant when paired with his wife, Lilith. But this episode was hysterical because while trying to lead this seminar, he cannot take the constant whining of Helen, Joe and Brian (the "Wings" cast) and he snaps. I mean completely loses it and screams at them all and ends up giving everyone in attendance a full refund.

Oh, how I would love to be Frasier for just a day. I mean, do you have any idea how many issues I have to deal with on a daily basis from people that come in to the store? Now I've said it before and I'll say it again - I am a people person. I am very social. I love to talk and I equally love to listen. But here's the thing - sometimes it is all just TOO MUCH. Seriously, too much. I have dealt with teen dramas: Who likes who, who's not speaking to who. Who thinks that they are better than everyone else, who's stuck up, who's is endless. And while I like the fact that the kids think that I am cool enough to come and confide in, I learned last year after the whole "Circle" nightmare that it really doesn't matter what I say or what I suggest, they will do whatever they want to in the end. They don't want me to settle their problems, they just want to hear their own voice. Teens like to feel that someone is listening and I am glad that I can assist.

What I CANNOT deal with is the adult drama. Seriously, if you want to whine and complain about something, please limit it to five minutes or less and be done with it. AND if I am not directly involved in it, please don't drag me in to it. It makes things awkward. I talk to everyone. I try to be friendly to everyone and I prefer to draw my own conclusions about people. By being badgered with someone else's opinion it makes it very hard for me to function. It's my problem, seriously. There seems to be an endless supply of parent conflicts. But here is my advice on that and please, please, please, pay attention:

Not everyone HAS to parent the same way as you! Your way of parenting is in no way SUPERIOR to anyone else's.

I say this because everyone raises their children differently. One family may not have a problem with a child under the age of 17 watching an R-rated movie, another may find that hideous. No one says that you have to agree on it but it does not give you the right to go out and publicly BASH the other family because they do not agree with you. If you allow your child to date and another family does not, DEAL WITH IT! You know, I think I've stated it often enough in the year that I've had this blog, many people have issues with the way that we do things in our family and they have brought their "displeasure" right to me. Fine, I don't like it but I listen to it. And in return, I have felt obligated (at times) to tell these people how I don't agree with something that they do. It's a bit childish and a lot like going tit-for-tat and so I only do it when absolutely necessary.

God made us all different. We are not supposed to think alike. We are not supposed to all dress alike. Deal with it! Better yet, shut up and deal with it. Not everyone needs to hear your "issues" all the doggone time! I have enough drama in my life just living day to day. Does anyone ever stop to think that maybe I don't WANT to hear your drama too? Apparently not!

I don't have a psychology degree. I don't really want one although I can tell that if I did have one, I'd be a millionaire if I charged for all of the issues people come to "discuss" with me! I know my job has me in a position where I am accessible and all, but seriously, I do have other things to do other than listen to issues that are normally being blown WAY out of proportion.

Oh, and one more note to the adults: Perhaps your children enjoy making mountains out of molehills. We learned the hard way that sometimes our children tell us something was done that offended them when really it is THEIR interpretation of it and it is usually wrong. Not every word issued from your child's mouth is gospel, you know. Maybe THEIR attitude or behavior WAS offensive to someone and that's why something was said or done to them. Teenagers are great for offending people and then blaming others when THEY get offended.

If you want drama, go to the theater. As for me, I'm staying home and watching a comedy. My life is dramatic enough on its own.


Nani said...

I love Frasier....I also enjoyed Wings...why arent there any good, clean, funny shows anymore??

I would have loved to have seen that show.

Oh, by the way I will stop by tomorrow to chat...I really need someone to talk to. It will only take a few minutes of your time. HEHE!!!

carol at A Second Cup said...

Slowly,very slowly, take a deep breath and reach for the chocolate. Throw the chocolate at the offending parent. Feel better?

StaceyC4 said...

Now why would I waste perfectly good chocolate?

Roo said...

VERY GOOD STACE! And may I add, it's not only the complaining that gets to me, but in my office it's ONE person repeating the SAME story/anecdote over, and over, and over, and over.... You get the point. Enough is enough. I sit in the cubicle right next to hers so I hear EVERYTHING repetively. Oh well... maybe I too need to pay you a visit. Do you have time on Tuesday? LOL!