Sunday, January 15, 2012

Do you ever just get tired?

I know I've shared this a lot but Frank's being out of work is exhausting to me.  It's not just the extra work and pressure on me that is tiring, it's more.  For years I tried to help him with the business - I'd offer to type up the estimates, come up with advertising ideas, etc.  What I've learned in the process is that we are indeed opposites and sometimes that is a really, really bad thing.

When I would offer to type the estimates, he would wait until I was climbing in to bed to ask "Oh, aren't you going to type this for me?" after I had been sitting next to him for HOURS with no idea that an estimate needed to be typed.  All of my ideas for expanding the business, getting the word out there about the business - basically any input I gave was shot down.

Now here we are.  Two months without work.  Again.  I am now working three part time jobs to help pay the bills and we are still painfully short on making it and guess who wants my help?

Kill me now.

I have helped him compose some emails, I've gone on to Vistaprint and helped create all kinds of free merchandising/advertising material for him and I have tried to be encouraging.  Today?  I was just plain DONE with the whole thing.  I'm tired of writing emails.  I'm tired of helping with the applications.  I'm tired of having to stop what I'm doing to help him find a job.  I know that it sounds stupid because maybe if I help him, something will come through and by not helping him, perhaps I am spiting myself.  But at the same time, I am just TIRED.  

When I was out of work for two years, did he help me find a job?  No.  When I'm trying to find an agent or a publisher, does he help?  No.  When I am freaking out because I don't want to live on the damn street, does he take any job available to help us out.  No.  Maybe I'm trying to justify my screaming like a lunatic until my voice was raw but I am beyond frustrated and tired of having to help him.



Storm, The Psychotic Housewife said...

I think we all have the same problem when it comes to husbands. Sigh! I don't have any advice, but hang in there. It has to get better eventually, right?

Chin chin said...

Just continue doing what you think is right and pray that your husband will snap out of whatever it is he's not doing right. Praying things will be better for you.