Monday, October 3, 2011

Actually, it's kind of depressing...

For those of  you keeping track, Frank is still not working.  We've hit a new level of low and frankly, it sucks.  After the post I wrote last week about having lunch with Yoko, this will all seem ironic but...Frank has been forced to quit the band and we are having to sell his drum equipment.

I.  Feel.  Like.  Crap.

Honestly, there is nothing left of any value in our lives to sell other than the drums and it was his idea.  I totally appreciated the sacrifice because his music means the world to him and I had been struggling with the fact that I was making all of the sacrifices and working my butt off while he did nothing, but now that he's doing it, it makes me sad.  There was nothing else we could do.

I hate this.  I hate that our lives have come to this.  I hate that people we know have hired other painters; I hate that all of the things that we have worked towards are gone.  I'm tired of people asking stupid questions like "Why doesn't he just get a job" when the nations unemployment rate is like 9.1% and here in North Carolina it's 10.1%.  Obviously someone has to be in that stupid percentage and it sucks that it's us.

We also had to post his acoustic/electric guitar for sale and I had to roll up all of our change that I had been saving towards going to see Frank's parents in December.  That's the third trip this year that I've had to cancel - not luxury trips, mind you, just trips in general.

I want to move away and start over where I don't know anyone.  I want to just crawl under the blankets and go to sleep and not wake up.  This is all just too stinkin hard and I don't have the time or energy to keep dealing with stupid people asking stupid questions or making more demands on my time.  I'm exhausted - mentally and physically and there is no light at the end of the tunnel.


1 comment:

Storm, The Psychotic Housewife said...

I'm sorry :( I know how hard it is, it's been rough around here too. All I can say is hang in there!