He's 18!!!

He makes me crazy like nobody's business, but he's all mine and he's 18 today!! I can still remember the first day that we brought him home from the hospital. Frank worked a 3-11 shift and my sister had been with me all day. When she went home that night (sometime around 8:00), Nick was sleeping in his cradle that we kept in the corner of the living room. I remember walking in to that room and glancing at the cradle and having a complete panic attack. I was like "Oh, my God...I'm never going to be alone for the next 18 years!"

And now that that 18 years is here is seems to have gone by in a flash. Where did my little boy go? Where is the child who used to sing to me in the car go? I remember so much of those things that he did for the first time and remember the wonder that I felt because he was my first. I remember naming him Nicholas and being sure that that was the name he would always go by. Nick was just too manly and mature. Then he was Nicky and we have arrived at Nick. Why are all of those sweet moments gone to be replaced by arguments and angst?

But I'm not going to dwell on that today. Instead I am going to focus on the man that he has grown in to. It has not been an easy road. We've frustrated each other and honestly, he is the only person alive that can make me yell in a voice that only the neighborhood dogs can hear. But he also has the ability to make me smile and laugh when I do not want to. I love just hanging out - just the two of us - because we can have the greatest conversations and laugh until we cry. He has an amazing personality and when he smiles you can't help but smile with him. He is quite truly an amazing young man.

I often feel bad that he doesn't have the pleasure of being surrounded by the type of family that I grew up with - I had AMAZING grandparents. But he takes it all in stride. He had a special bond with his great-grandmother and I know that she is looking down on him this day with pride. She loved him so much. I want him to know this day that he is loved - I know he doesn't believe it most of the time, but it is true. Everything that we do, every time we correct you, every time that we don't give you your own way, we are doing it for a reason - not just to be mean.

Happy 18th birthday, my son. I love you.