Monday, November 2, 2009

A Lesson in Convenience

As I have mentioned in many posts of late, our teenage son really has no desire to be around us. Okay, fine, I'm dealing with it. He left the house Saturday morning to go to work (at 5:50 in the A.M. might I ad) and a friend was going to pick him up. From there he and the friend were going out, he was going to sleep at the friends house - since it was Halloween - and come home on Sunday. Early in the day was what I was told when I asked.

We don't make plans, in general. Unless we are specifically going to someone's house to visit or someone is coming here for dinner, the day is up for grabs. So, after sleeping in late Sunday because of a sore throat and cough, I made us lunch and tried to call the boy. No answer - his phone went directly to voice mail. Frank was in need of some new sneakers so around 3:30 we went shopping - with still no word from the teen. We went to Target - no luck with shoes. We get back in the car and drive up the road to Payless and lo and behold, my phone rings. Guess who?

"Where are you?" he asks. The weird thing here is that the phone number showing up on my phone belongs to my friend Adrianne. So I'm like "Um, where are YOU?"

"I'm at Miss A.D.'s house."
"You forgot your keys, didn't you?" I ask.
"Yea, where are you?"
"You said you were going to be home!"

Big sigh of frustration on my part because no such conversation ever took place.

Long story short, the boy now is going to meet us as the Payless because he needs a key to get in to the house. Fine, we'll be here. He comes storming in, like this is all OUR fault that HE forgot his key and so I told him that he can send his friend on his way because now he will stay and SHOP with us!

You can imagine how well that went over.

He yells, he pouts, he stomps off. Really, he's 17, not 4. After leaving the shoe store, we stop at the grocery store. Hey, I had things that I had to get and I was not going to let anyone dictate to me how fast I had to get done. This caused a fight in grocery store. The ride home from there was LOUD!

So here's my thing. Were we wrong? I mean, the boy forgot his key. He was ticked off because he had plans and by not getting in to the house, he was going to be rushed and behind schedule for HIS social life. Should we have just given him the key and sent him home? Shouldn't he be inconvenienced for being irresponsible and selfish? We reminded him of all of the ways that WE are inconvenienced by his actions and that seemed to do the trick but seriously? Way to ruin the day!


carol at A Second Cup said...

Bad mommy, not being willing to drop everything and read your kid's mind to serve his will.
Sometimes you just have to laugh (or yell)

Unknown said...

seriously, teenagers are the worst! i cannot understand how their brain works. i try to justify their thinking by all the hormonal changes they go through. that they are just too whacked out to even think clearly. i promise it does get better, but it usually takes them moving out on their own for that to happen. i feel for you my friend, been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

have a great day...hugz!

BK said...

Well, I was thinking if this happened very frequently. If it does, then he has to learn his lesson on being responsible and considerate to his family. If it doesn't, then maybe it is not so bad to just pass him the key and remind him to remember his next time?

A.Marie said...

Hi there! Ooooh...You are just having lots of fun, aren't you! I am totally understanding, as I have 2 teens at home!!

I think I am agreeing with BK; but, then again, I don't live with your teen son! But, their brains seriously do not function like ours do; they are controlled by their hormones! But, that is no excuse for bad behavior.

Cheer up...there is hope for us...My twin sister's daughter is now 20, and the girl is definitely mellowing out. YAY for Adulthood! :)

Sherri said...

Oh, I would have done exactly what you did. They will learn one day.

Maria @ Conversations with Moms said...

I am so not looking forward to the day that my 2 boys become teenagers.

Frugal Vicki said...

Okay, mine still love me more than anything, but I was not the nicest teen, and even I will say that HE was wrong. My mom NEVER would have allowed that. Even when I came home from break on college, she needed a specific time of when I would be home, and if I was two minutes late too damn bad. If I wanted to be disrespectful, I could sit on the patio and wait for her. He said early, he was early evening not early day. And he isn't 18 yet. He will be glad one day that his parents are teaching him responsibility.

Yum Yucky said...

Between my attitude-ish 17 year-old girl and my funky 14 year-old boy (whose room smells like feet and armpits), I understand where you're coming from. Ugh.