Oh, There's a Phone Slap Coming...

Okay, I learned something very important not too long ago. I learned that it is OKAY to be alone on vacation. It's true. There is something to be said about having alone time even if you are travelling with a group - say like your family. When I was in Florida back in September I ended up spending a LOT of time by myself. Was it what I planned? No. Was it what I envisioned my trip to be like? Heck no. Is that how it ended up? Yes.

So this last week my sister has been on vacation. She went away with a friend and her family. I think my sister sort of ended up being the fifth wheel because he boyfriend couldn't go. Yes, he's finally gotten a job. Can I hear a "Hallelujah"? Anyway, the boyfriend could not go with her but the trip was already paid for so she didn't want to lose her money and decided to go on her own. If there is one thing I have learned about my sister, it is that she HATES to be alone. She never really has any down time just for her. I don't get that. But then again, she probably looks at me and thinks I'm some sort of freak because I actually ENJOY being alone. It's been forty years and I still don't get how we're related.

But back to the slap...so she goes on this trip - somewhat begrudgingly - and up until the time she left, she was asking other people to join her. First she asked my mom. Mom can't just pick up and go on a moment's notice. Most people can't just up and go to Mexico - there's no disposable income in most homes these days. When mom said no, she asked her son. His passport did not get to him in time. THIS is where the slap comes in. The slap that I will virtually be delivering to her tomorrow night - Wednesday at the latest. In her desperation to not be alone...she made a call to...oh, it makes my stomach hurt just a little...she called our DAD to join her in Mexico!!!!

!!@#*?!!!

There are just some things that are NOT done in our family. Inviting my dad to join you ANYWHERE is one of them!! I don't care how desperate you are, I don't care how little it will cost him, you DON'T INVITE DAD TO GO ON VACATION WITH YOU!! EVER!! One of the last times I invited dad to join us somewhere on a vacation - and this is where the rule originated - he met us in Disney about seven years ago and showed up the day we were at MGM Studios. He arrived dressed more for a night of clubbing than a day at an amusement park, he whined about the parking, the lines, the heat, LIFE, he gave my 18-month old child four tubes of M&M minis which melted EVERYWHERE and just, in general, was not pleasant to be around. He made me feel BAD that he had driven all the way to Disney (it was a three hour drive) to just see me. It's like getting a hug, isn't it?

So just know that tomorrow night when my sister gets home from her vacation I will call her. I will inquire about her week and then I will phone slap the crap out of her and mock her for getting to that low point in life. Grab a good book, join a sight-seeing group, heck, take a Vicadin and catch up on your sleep. But, never, ever, ever invite dad and his unusually awesome wife to join you on vacation. It's just not done!