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Saturday, September 5, 2009

And Now For the Painfully Obvious...

Look, I didn't create the world. I did not choose which gender did what better. All I know is that here are the facts: Men are better at mechanical stuff, women are better at the homemaking/cooking stuff. That's not to say that I don't know men who cook (although most of them aren't very handy) or that I don't know women who know how to do an oil change. It's not a perfect formula but for the most part, each gender has their strengths.

Frank is very mechanical. He can fix anything. Me? I fix nothing. If possible, I break things more than they already are. BUT...I am an absolute WHIZ in the kitchen. I have mastered the dinner dilemma's and what I make tastes good. So this morning, Frank had to go to work. It's a Saturday and that's unusual, but we don't refuse work these days. So I'm here cleaning house because I have a friend coming for lunch and my teenager comes out of the bathroom and announces that something is wrong with the toilet. Okay, get a plunger. No, not that kind of problem...apparently when you push down on the handle to flush, nothing happens. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Okay, I'm stumped and I call Frank. I realize that he is at work but maybe he can DO something over the phone. I told you I'm not handy!

I call, I tell him the problem and he tries to get all MacGuyver on me and tells me how to "rig" this to fix it. I hand the phone to Nick. They "discuss" things and finally Nick comes out of the bathroom mumbling something about idiots and how it can't be done. So I'm feeling a little confident and I'm like, "Okay, tell me what he said and maybe I can do it!"

Um...no.

So I call Frank back and tell him that what he wants done cannot be done because the handle is actually BROKEN. You cannot RIG anything to it because there is nothing there! Here's where it gets funny...so he's like "Okay, take the handle apart and go to..." I didn't even let him finish because I was laughing so hard. I'm like "You want ME to take something apart AND go to a store and get a replacement??? Are you out of your MIND???" He very calmly tried explaining to me that I could do this and I just told him that okay, I'd do it if he came home and cooked a roast for dinner. He's like "I can't cook a roast! Taking that handle apart, well, an idiot can do that!" Well then I guess I am BEYOND being an idiot because I can't. I think that any idiot can cook a roast but you can't do that, can you???

Nick rigged up a chain for us to use until Frank gets home. Now I can pee with confidence and go back to my regularly scheduled program of getting the house cleaned and lunch on the table!

9 comments:

PJ said...

hehehe...i don't mean to laugh at your almost dilemma stace, but just the way you told that is hilarious! "now i can pee with confidence" LOL!

have a great weekend stace!

HUGZ!

Lidian said...

I'm with you - I'll make meals (I have to,lol), but I ain't fixing a toilet, that's for sure.

jenn said...

Lol! I could have come over and fixed it for you...ours has broke numerous times.

Denesa said...

I totally agree with you that men and women have our own strength. I am totally helpless when any hardware breaks down at home!

Grampy said...

Hi Stace
I'll come over fix the toilet if you cook me the roast. Actually I could cook the roast. Of course my wife won't let me in her kitchen.Now as for your car. If you want it fixed. I can call AAA for you.
Have a good weekend.

A.Marie said...

Roast! Yummy! That is what I think that I'll fix for supper here...everyone is sniffling and sneezing (allergies? colds?) and that really sounds yummy! :)

I'm right with you on the "I'll cook, you fix" deal!

Your "pee with confidence" statement is hysterical!

A Lil Enchanted said...

Hi Stace.... over the years I've learned to do a lil of just about everything.... unfortunately I'm an expert at nothing. I've learned to cook by watching others... and fix things by watching others as well... anytime something breaks I stand over whoever is fixing it and watch so next time I can hopefully fix it myself.

"Now go pee with confidence"... and then hop on over to my blog for some love :)

A Lil Enchanted,
~LaShan~

Nani said...

there is never a dull moment in your home.....what was Michael doing while all this fun was taking place?

Vicki said...

lol, I don't think I have pee'd alone in about two years. At this point, if it was broken, I would probably pee and leave it and not even give it a second thought. hee hee. Must be a man-frustrated weekend, I will be posting mine tomorrow!