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Sunday, December 27, 2009

I Said I Wouldn't But I Did...

Okay so Christmas is over. There are still far too many cakes, cookies and pies lying around the house but we are doing our best to put a dent in them. All in all it was a wonderful Christmas; one that I will write about tomorrow. For now, here's a Christmas story that really, really, REALLY bummed me out.

So you all know that Frank was out of work for a while. Things got VERY tight around here. Nick ran up his cell phone bill AGAIN and I'm still unemployed. Festive times, right? Anyway, with the last bout of cell phone drama with the teen, he announced that he does not want anything for Christmas; we should take any money that he gets and pay off his debts and whatever else we might need the money for. I was VERY tempted to do just that but, being a sucker for a pair of big brown eyes, I could not imagine sitting here Christmas morning and having him NOT open any presents.

Frank got work, the burden eased a bit and I went and shopped for my boy. A few days before Christmas he announces to me that my present will not be here in time for Christmas. Is it back-ordered? No. Are we not confident with the postal service? No. Is he too broke to actually buy it right now? Yes. Okay, fine. I'm not thrilled and I tell him that he should not be spending too much (or anything) if he cannot afford it. This should have been the end of this story but like most teenagers, they don't know when to shut their mouths. Was he too broke to buy his mother a present to open on Christmas? Yes. Was he too broke to buy his girlfriend over $100 worth of gifts? Apparently not.

Now he tells his dad that my gift will not be here in time and Frank has the first assumption that I did - it's back ordered. So we talk about it briefly and when I tell him that no, it has nothing to do with mail and orders but solely because the boy did NOT order it because he spent all of his money elsewhere. This did not go over well at all with my husband. The thing that made it worse was that, okay, he has a limited income but he bought gifts for EVERYONE else - his brother, his father, his girlfriend, HER parents, AND her sister and brother in law. For all I know HER dog probably got a gift from him too! But mom? No, apparently NOT important enough to budget for.

Am I greedy? No. Am I hurt? Yes. Why? Well, why was it so important that everyone else have a gift and not me? No one knows. So we TELL him how disappointed we are and how hurt I am and there is no remorse. Nothing. Just a lame "sorry" and he thinks we're done. I let it go but Frank cannot. Then to make matters even WORSE (if you can believe it), on Christmas Day we are all just lounging around the house and I'm lying in bed reading a good book and the phone rings. It's my father in law calling us because he was still asleep when we had called him earlier. So Nick gets on the phone with him and is asked "So, what did you get your girlfriend?" He has no idea the Pandora's Box that he has once-again opened. Nick is walking around the house with the phone but decides to STOP and stand in MY doorway and replies "What DIDN'T I get her? Oh, I got her EVERYTHING".

Son of a....

Frank pretty much lunged up from the couch and practically tackled him. When he got off the phone, Frank was like "What is the matter with you???" The boy's response? "What? What did I do?"

The list is endless at this point, son. The list is endless....

*Today's Examiner.com article is on making your own homeschool yearbook. You can read about it HERE. Thanks!*

7 comments:

dddiva said...

Sorry, honey, nobody can wound you like family. I think it has to do with the whole well mom has to love me no matter what a rotten little f*cker I am mentality.
On the up side, most of them (minus your dad, from what I have read) grow out of the whole I'm a selfish, thoughtless b*stard phase.

Lola said...

Join the club. At least he said he was sorry. My partner did not give me a list, but I knew the one thing she really wanted, a Kindle 2. She never mentioned wanting anything else. So I got it for her even though it was super expensive and I got a couple of other things.

She asked me to give her a list and I did. Then she mentions she couldn't find one of the items so I tell her where it's in stock and I go get it because she's on her last nerve with Christmas shopping. And, I PAY FOR IT. With MY money. (Now I have no money. Zip, zilch, zero.)

Christmas morning we open gifts and we're done. She's over the moon and I'm feeling like WTH? She spent 1/2 of what I spent on her. No wait, less than 1/2 because I paid for the one gift for myself and she hasn't repaid me yet.

The kicker is, she can't even understand why I would be upset, or even mildly hurt. Apparently I'm being childish. The thing is, at her Mom's house I got 1 gift and 1 that was for the both of us. That's it. I don't get anything else because all my family is gone. I can't work, so there is no office party secret Santa anymore. Why wouldn't I be upset???

A.Marie said...

I don't have any great words of wisdom here...just know that deep inside, your boy loves you. He is just in his selfish stage; when he grows up, it'll be different. :)

Shelly said...

Wow. I hope I never have to know what that feels like. The girlfriend's parents? Really? and her sister. Yeah, I'd be hurt and probably a little mad too, since you didn't want him to have nothing to open. I hoipe he thinks about this when he has a family of his own, he's gonna feel pretty bad about it, I'm sure.

Leigh said...

Teenage boys seem to have all of the drama of the girls! I was hoping when my oldest child was a boy that it would somehow be easier than a teenage daughter - it's not! I sympathize! Our son spent every dime he had on an Xbox for himself the day before Christmas eve, and then had the gall to ask to borrow money to buy a game to play on it.

PJ said...

i know exactly how you feel with this, and it sucks. i have been put last in line with my son and it hurts a lot. wish there was something that i could say to help, but i'm still trying to figure it out also. have a wonderful day stace...hugz!

Frugal Vicki said...

Why is it that those we love the most and take care of the most are the one's that take us most for granted? He probably assumed you wouldn't be upset, that you would be understanding, but when you told him it hurt, we could have hoped that would have opened his eyes. Good for Frank, though, someone needs to stand up for us moms! I'm sorry it was a bummer. Dang teenagers anyway.