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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Another "Gotcha" Moment...

Christmas cards have been arriving, money from relatives for the kids has been arriving, on-line purchases have been arriving. Today there was a knock at the door from the UPS guy and there was a box on my front porch. It was addressed to Nick - the label was the typed out UPS kind.

I knew that Nick hadn't ordered anything and then I noticed the return address. My dad. My sister told me that he had shopped for the kids and that I should expect something. So it arrived today. It was very nice of him to remember his grandchildren and not take his feelings for me out on them. First, let me say that it was kind of childish to not even address it to me - as the parent. So okay, I open it up and it has several wrapped boxes in it and a card on top that says "Nick & Mike". Secondly, NO ONE calls my son Mike. No one. Ever. His name is Michael. A grandparent should know that. But...I'm being petty, right? I can feel something large in the card so I open it to make sure that it's not some kind of long letter telling my kids what a jackass of a mother I am or something awful about my husband. Inside was a DVD in memory of my step-mother. I put it aside because I'm not sure I am able to watch it and I notice the inside of the card - addressed to Nick, Mike and family.

???

Really? And family??

Okay, putting it aside, I put the gifts under the tree and contemplate calling him to thank him. But Nick wasn't home and I felt that if we were going to call, the boys should both be there to thank him. So I decide to watch the DVD before showing it to the kids. He said in the card that it was something for them to remember their grandmother by. Sweet, right? This DVD is a slide show of pictures of Collette's life. It was beautiful, the music was touching and lovely. There were pictures of her that I had never seen before. There were pictures of her with everyone except...

MY children.

Oh, here's something to remember your grandmother by, but you were left out of it! ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME??? REALLY??? If he did not want to put me in there, FINE, but don't you DARE make this like you care about my children's memory of their grandmother when you deliberately EXCLUDED them from it!!!

So to recap...sending Christmas gifts? Nice. Almost deserving of a phone call. Excluding the grandchildren who loved her from her memorial? Shitty. Take note, Nancy...tell dad to NOT expect a call on Christmas until HE apologizes to MY children.

*Today's Examiner.com is on some updated homeschool studies and how homeschooled adults are doing. You can read it HERE. Thanks!*

9 comments:

PJ said...

wow, not even sure what to say about this one. like you said, at least he was thinking about his grandchildren, but it was pretty sucky not to include any photos of them with their grandmother in the dvd. big hugz to you my friend.

Anne said...

Death brings out bad behavior in many people. I am sorry that your children were left out of the video. That is the kind of hurtful thing that can not be undone. Hopefully, you can rise above his bad behavior to forgive him someday.

Blia said...

How awful that your dad did this. I hope things turn out for the better. Happy holidays.

Blia said...

How awful that your dad did this. I do hope things turn out better. Happy holidays

Petula said...

Super Wow... and Big Sigh! I think he was being "rude," for lack of a better word, addressing that to the children. The video? I probably would have felt the same way. Geez... what a lot to deal with during the holiday. I wish that the two of you are able to mend this soon. Would be nice to do it before the new year. Life is so short. I know you didn't start this. Try to let it roll off your back. Yes, easier said than done. Enjoy the rest of your week and keep rocking those articles out. I don't know how you do it?!?!

thepsychobabble said...

That's Klassy with a capital K

Leigh said...

My father too, likes to address our children by nicknames that no one else ever calls them. I think it's a grandparent thing. My MIL can't even spell our children's names.

Frugal Vicki said...

I wish I wish I wish I could explain biological fathers, but I can't. My dad has my name and my children's names tattooed on his arm, but he doesn't speak to any of us. The only thing he has ever said to my son is "hey dude". I feel your pain. to my soul. big big hugz.

Mary B. said...

I wish that the two of you are able to mend this soon. Would be nice to do it before the new year. Life is so short.