Tuesday, November 11, 2008

And now for a little honesty....

You know, I often gripe about how nobody (and by nobody, I'm usually referring to my family) is ever honest with me. We are rather superficial with one another. My dad and I have funny conversations, we're sarcastic with one another but we rarely are truly HONEST with one another.

When my sister started dating her boyfriend a little over a year ago, we stopped talking honestly with one another. I did not approve of the relationship, she knew it and so we did everything humanly possible to talk without really TALKING about what was going on in her life. I missed our conversations. I missed not knowing what was really going on with her and by the same token, I held a lot back about things going on in my life too. As time went on, I just came to accept that this was the way things were going to be, I missed my sister but at the same time, I was unwilling to rock the boat.

Well, yesterday was like "Truth Day" around here. I'm telling you, it was wild. I called dad because I got his wedding photo CD in the mail and he had been insisting that he mailed it out over a week ago. So I wanted him to know that it had arrived safe and sound and that all was well. Apparently, he was in a chatty mood. He's been much more pleasant since getting married. Well, his second wife seems to definitely be going on Hospice care and so he wanted to update me on what was going on there. The funny thing is, in seven years he has never once honestly told me how she happened to get in the condition that she is in. I mean, he TOLD me that she had the brain hemorrhage but he would say things like "Oh, she must have had this all of her life" rather than saying that she was using massive amounts of drugs at the time that it happened. Well, last night he just about admitted it to me! I was blown away. I didn't know what to do with the information. I didn't want to gush about his opening up or complain to him about why am I JUST NOW finding out this information, but I am hopeful that he will continue to see that we can have that kind of relationship. I'm not fragile. I can handle the truth. By the end of the conversation, I was feeling pretty good.

Then, late last night I called my sister. She had called earlier in the night while I was at a Pampered Chef party and told Frank that I could call when I got home. Huh, that hadn't happened in a while so I decided to jump on the bandwagon and make the call. Well, OMG...I am so glad that I called! THIS was the kind of conversations that I was missing! THIS was the kind of bond that was lacking for so long! We talked and laughed and she shared with me some of the struggles she's been having with the boyfriend and in her life. We talked for over an hour and I was just ....well...I was so glad that she finally wanted to share something with me! We're never going to agree on much - we are far too different - but when it is just the two of us, we get along great.

So, here's to honesty and to family. I regret all of the times that the two were not able to meet. They make me crazy. I'll probably blog about something stupid that they do to irritate me in the near future, but for right now, I am smiling from ear to ear that we finally are connecting again.

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