39 Reasons I Don't Want to be 40

39. I was just getting comfortable with my thirties

38. I am never sure of how to exactly spell forty (or is it fourty?)

37. I'm that much closer to 50

36. I enjoyed the fact that Frank seemed so much older - he's 5 years older but
being that I was still in my thirties, I felt like a much younger woman

35. Do you remember how old your parents were in their 40's?

34. My parents became GRANDPARENTS in their 40's!!!

33. Nothing good really begins with the letter "F" - fat, failure, freak, faulty,
foolish, falling-apart...

32. I also enjoyed the fact that my sister was in her 40's while I was still young
and youthful in my thirties

31. Things are starting to hurt that didn't hurt in my thirties - like EVERYTHING

30. You don't get smart-alecky black balloons and snarky cards in your 30's

29. Whoever said you can feel like two 20 year olds, is clearly a liar

28. Seriously, remember how old your parents were in their 40's?

27. Hair color needs to be applied with a little more frequency

26. People expect you to have some sort of "wisdom" when you get this old,
and clearly, I don't

25. You look a whole lot more ridiculous when you act silly on a girls night out

24. I am now near the age of the woman who are referred to as "cougars" who
I think look utterly ridiculous in their attempts to look younger

23. I'm called "ma'am" with a lot more frequency

22. When someone says "You still look so young" - it lacks the sincerity that it
used to have

21. There are more lines on my face than their used to be - people say they are
"laugh lines" or again, "show wisdom" but I'd rather still be smooth, sad
and stupid!

20. I'm getting a lot more forgetful. I think.

19. My teenager thinks I'm old

18. You can't really fit 40 candles on a cake - unless it's a really BIG cake. Then
you're laughed at if you can't blow them all out!

17. Have you looked at the hot guys who used to be sex symbols when we were
in our twenties? They look like walking death!!! Not sexy at all!!!

16. I hear my knees when I climb stairs

15. There are new "tests" that the doctor wants to do when you hit 40

14. I mean, my parents seemed ANCIENT at this age!!!

13. I'm not going to be in Disney World for my actual birthday - the September
trip did not count - even though I celebrated there

12. Chances are, some family member will forget that it is my birthday and it
will ruin my day

11. I will be called grandma at least once on my actual birthday

10. 40 is NOT the new 30

9. I have to check a different box when some application or survey asks my age

8. Dancing with pom-poms just looks sad now (not that I do it that often)

7. If I were to ever get on "Dancing with the Stars", I'd be one of the 'older'
contestants that the judges will marvel at my ability to still move well

6. I seem closer to my parents current age - we can relate to one another's
mystery ailments

5. And again, THEY'RE OLD!!

4. No matter how young you try to look in your 40's, you still come off looking
like some silly cliche

3. I just don't want to!

2. I've not yet written the great American novel!

1. Is it really spelled forty?