Thursday, November 13, 2008

Shh...I'm detoxing (Day 1)

So I'm trying something new this week. I am doing a 7-day detox. Seriously. I got this little "system" from my Arbonne party last week and decided to start it today. Man do people like to freak you out when you tell them that you doing such a thing. I've had tons of helpful comments like "Don't come around me!" or "Hope you enjoy being chained to the toilet!" or my personal favorite "Have you sh_t yourself yet?"

To my loyal friends and family, I say SHUT IT! You are so NOT helping!

I don't know why trying this product was such a big thing for me, but from the first time that I saw it, I wanted to check it out. Maybe it's because my grandma is dying from what started as colon cancer and I want to clean things out. Maybe it's because I've seen one too many 'infomercials' on all of the junk clogging up our organs or maybe, just maybe, I'm looking to feel a little bit better. I'm not sure. All I know is that today is my first day and I was kind of excited about it. I figured that I would do the drink and eat following the plan that I used on my Disney Diet. So I got up this morning, did my little workout and then went about my morning routine and then stopped to make this 32 oz. drink. I even have a pretty new 32 oz water bottle to go with it. Starting something new is so much better when you have new accessories to go with it. So the plan is that you take this little one ounce bottle of the "detox" and pour it in to the water bottle with the 32 oz of water, shake and drink. The problem?

This stuff is what evil must taste like.


I mean, if you are going to put a product out there that requires you to use it for seven freakin days, could you it at least make it taste pleasant??? Is that too much to ask? Apparently so. Oh, and not only does it smell nasty, did I mention that it is brown and thick? When my 8 year old was born, he had a whole protein allergy. After being hospitalized and almost dying he was diagnosed and was put on an amino-acid based formula. It smelt awful and changing his diaper was beyond what should be expected of any human being. Motherly love was seriously put to the test. I used to have to take his diapers to be analyzed right after we started this formula and I actually heard a lab technician SCREAM after opening one of his diapers. This morning was like a war-zone "flashback" to that era.

I was not feeling overly excited anymore. I mixed it up and took it with me to work - figuring I'd get up the nerve to drink it there. After all, how long could it take to drink 32 oz of liquid? Two hours. Two long hours. I could only take 12 gulps at a time and then I'd have to stop, take a couple of deep breaths and then chew a piece of gum or suck on a Certs. I should have my head examined for doing this kind of thing. Tomorrow I'm going to try putting it in apple juice which was option number 2.

So I made it through the first day with no major 'incidents'. I peed a LOT but that is only because after downing that first 32 oz batch, you have to drink another 32 oz of water throughout the day. Technically, that is the amount of water we should ALL be drinking but don't. I will tell you what, if I make it through the entire 7 days of this, I will never complain about just drinking "plain" water again.


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