Monday, November 24, 2008

Bates Hotel - Party of One...

Today was supposed to be THAT day. You know, the one day a year where you are supposed to go to the doctor to be subjected to an "annual". Giving it such a generic name in no way, shape or form changes what it is - a big giant pain in the hoo-hoo. It rates right up there with calling your period your "friend". There are no words that make the experience any more pleasant so let's just call a spade a spade and move on!

My original appointment was for Wednesday but on Friday the doctor's office called and left a message that they had moved my appointment up to Monday. Okay, fine. A little inconvenient because now I have to change my work hours but I'll deal. Now, keep in mind, that I do not have insurance. I do have Medicaid that I can use ONCE A YEAR for THIS appointment only. So, I arrive early for my appointment with all of the dread that goes with it (on par of going for a root canal), I sit through 15 minutes of "verifying" my identity, my income, my Medicaid, blah, blah, blah. I had forgotten to bring the proof of income with me but luckily Michelle was able to fax it over in a flash. Such a good friend! I finally get through with being mentally "probed" that I can now go and sit in the waiting area and wait to be probed everywhere else. Yippee.

They call my name, I go in to the lab and the nurse pulls up my info on the computer and goes "Uh-oh". Not a good sign no matter how you say it. "Is something wrong?" I inquire. "Oh, uh, we can't treat you today," she said.


Again, this is one of those moments in my life where I wish I had a pocket recorder that just played the Psycho theme just so I could set the tone for people like this.

"Why not?" I asked.
"Well, with your kind of Medicaid, you cannot be seen twice within a 365 day period. This is day 364."


Seriously, the Psycho music should be BLARING at this point. Birds should be fleeing the area, small animals should be scurrying away and women with small children should be running and taking cover.

"But YOU changed the appointment!" I cried at her (yes, in a pitch normally reserved for dogs).
"Oh, uh, ...."
"AND, I took the afternoon off of work to BE here for this!"
"Oh, uh..."
"NOW what am I supposed to do?"
"Let me get my supervisor..." The woman SPRINTED from the room. She returned a few minutes later with a super perky supervisor who was all "Oh, we're so sorry" and "Let's see what we can do" and really, I just wanted to slap her. I was mentally prepared to sit through the humiliation of the stir-ups TODAY!!! I drank like 47 glasses of water so that I could pee on demand (TMI, sorry) and now they are getting ready to pat me on the head and send me on my way!! A few clicks of the keyboard later, they re-schedule me for the end of next week when I actually HAVE a day off first thing in the morning. I am mildly comforted but still ticked. Now I'll have to psyche myself up for this trauma again next week - after I turn 40!!!

Great, another day off down the drain!

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