Wednesday, April 20, 2011

It's okay to not be joined at the hip...

For twenty two years, Frank and I have had an odd aspect to our relationship; we don't share friends.  What I mean by that is, we don't attract the same kind of people for our friends and we end up with two very different groups of people and spend a lot of time hanging out with our friends without each other.  This recipe has worked FINE for all these years but lately, Frank has issues.

And it's about the band...

Of course it is...

Okay, let me start by saying that there is nothing really WRONG with these people.  They are nice and they are not hill-billy rednecks like some people that he used to hang out with.  The first time he brought me and Michael around the band was for a BBQ at one of the guy's homes.  We walked in, Frank barely introduced us to anyone and then he left me alone to meet people.  

I was not amused.

Now, I know I'm a grown woman; I usually make friends just fine on my own but it was a little intimidating and I was annoyed that he didn't even spend more than ten minutes at my side before deserting me!  The next time we were all together it was similar.  All of the guys have really young kids - at least 4-5 years YOUNGER than Michael.  So that makes it hard to hang out with them because Michael is at an age where hanging out with "little kids" is not at all appealing.  Add that to the fact that I also have a son who is living on his own and that all equals me having nothing in common with the wives.

I tried having conversations with them but it's like speaking two different languages - I don't speak toddler anymore and they have no idea what a teenager does.  It makes for a great amount of lulls in the conversation.  

Then you have to factor in the annoying 5-year old (who I never, ever, NEVER want to be around again) and it's all just a recipe for disaster.  

So, whenever the band invites us to things, I don't want to go.  Most times it works in my favor because by the time Frank remembers to tell me that they want to get together, I have other plans.  BUT, then he won't go alone!  I go to a LOT of places with people without him - cookouts, church events, Christmas parties, etc. and he doesn't seem to have a problem with making me go alone to these things but it is turning in to a huge issue for him to go with these people without me.

It's becoming a real issue and he's like "I don't understand why we all can't get along?"  I want to hit him on the head with something heavy and remind him that he doesn't get along or even TRY to get along with most of the people that I know and I don't make a fuss over it, so leave me alone!  I did manage to shove him out the door today to hang out with some of the band guys because I had way too much to do and I had warned him of it LONG before any invitation was issued.  

He was still whining about it as he got in his car - "Are you sure you don't want to go?  Do you want me to stay home?"  I mean, it's sweet and all but if I'm going to take time out of my weekend when I have stuff to do, I want it to be to hang out with people that I actually want to be around and that I have stuff to converse about with.  

Am I just being a mean girl?

1 comment:

Roo said...

As a single woman I don't know that I'm qualified to comment on this, but it is refreshing to see this. I have friends and family members that have to clear everything with their spouses before they do anything!!!! I understand the communication thing, but I want to say, "Do you not have a mind of your own? Can you not make a decision on your own?"

Yes, it might be nice to have some friends in common, but I see nothing wrong with you each having your own friends and spending time with those friends on your own!!!!