Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Okay, Here's a Dilema...

So I'm on the phone Sunday with my beloved mother-in-law and we're chit-chatting and she gets very serious and says "I need to talk to you about something". Ominous music plays in my head and I'm like "Oh?" She asked me to get a paper and pencil and to hear her out.


It turns out that one of my sisters-in-law (is that right?) has a timeshare and she is using it this year to get two 3 bedroom condos in Orlando for the week between Christmas and New Years - December 26-31. Everyone else in the family is on board about meeting down there and doing this, how about us?

Give me a minute while I GROWL in frustration....

Okay, let's think about this. First, I am unemployed and have been since May. Second, my husband is self-employed and has had about half of the amount of work that he usually does. This is not NEW news to the family. So WHY? WHY? WHY????? Would anyone think that going away would be in our budget right after Christmas??? The most expensive holiday of the year - and the slowest work time of the year for a house painter???? I mean, REALLY?? I listened patiently while she went on about the wonders of this and how because it is under the SIL's timeshare, each family would only have to contribute $100 towards housekeeping. Sure, when you put it like that, like "You can spend five days in Orlando for $100" it sounds great but the reality is this: Gas to drive to and from Florida from North Carolina, wear and tear on my car, food for the week, money to actually DO anything while we are there, and the potential of both Frank and Nick missing out on much-needed work.

Okay, then there's the ME aspect in all of this. As you regular readers may remember, there was the in-laws 50th anniversary cruise fiasco that we got excluded from because this SAME sister in law planned it in a way that excluded us and when we said we could not do it, we were made out to be the villains. Our first concern about the cruise was that it was slated to happen on Nick's first week of school. When I voiced my concerns about Nick missing school, essentially I was told to stop being such a selfish jackass and let him miss school. Why is this Orlando thing happening the week between Christmas and New Year's? Because sister-in-law does not want HER precious child missing any school!!! You have NO IDEA how my head almost exploded when I heard that reasoning! I mean, I know I'm being petty and what's in the past should stay in the past but this WITCH (and I mean the kind that begins with a "B") had the audacity to make me feel like crap because I was concerned about my child's education but is now using the same excuse for hers? I don't think so.

Bottom line here is that we can't do it. It would take DIVINE intervention for this to happen for us. We would need like $1,000 to drop out of the sky to cover the cost of the trip and to have money waiting at home to cover our bills for that week. Frank is not close with his family and while we speak to his parents every week and we visit them at least every other year, he has one sister that we have not seen in 15 years (we've spoken to her maybe a half a dozen times in that time span), his youngest sister we usually see once a year or at least every other year and then there's THAT sister in law...well, the last time we saw her was seven years ago and it's been heavenly. I know it's not nice, people, but sometimes THAT'S the way it is! So I know that we can't do it but here is what is eating at me the most: Should we not have been able to go because we didn't WANT to, I would be fine with that, but the fact that we CAN'T go because we are too poor, well, that just MAKES me want to go! How stupid is that??? I mean, what kind of logic is flying around in my head!!

I've had too much time on my hands...I don't know what to do with myself any more! Someday, I'll have peace. Maybe...


carol at A Second Cup said...

I understand. We are the "poor" ones in my family. It doesn't bother me until I see how the other half lives. Thing I don't even want or to do because I can't suddenly I want that or to do that. Strange but true and not very attractive on my part...sigh

jenn said...

A couple of years ago, my sisters rented a condo at myrtle beach. There are five sibling, and my mom. We were all invited to go, and cough up I think it was almost $500 per family.

We couldn't afford that, so we didn't go. Everyone else did.

And when they got back, all they did was complain about how horrible it was being cooped up with each other for a week. I just laughed, because not only did I miss a horrible trip, I didn't spend money I didn't really have.

All my sisters married money, and my brother makes good money, so they are always doing things we can't. I wish, for my kids, that we could afford to, but in the end, does it really matter? To me, no. My little family is happier than any of my siblings families, and i think it is because we DON'T have moeny. Does that even make sense?

I think I am rambling here. Sorry. I just know exactly how you feel. It sucks.

Lidian said...

I totally understand - we switched out family visit to the middle of summer partly because it interfered with school. And "I need to talk to you about something" is THE last thing I ever want to hear, from anyone at any time ;)

I'm with you, all the way!

walkw/me said...

I understand how you feel. There are things in life that we can't really afford to get especially when it comes to money matters. World is rolled with money.

In our case what we can't afford is to reunite my family( my husband is living in other planet "Canada")as often as we wanted, especially during our kids birthday and even Christmas. We want us to be together but hubby can't come home because of the very high transportation to fly back here in my planet. So twice a year for us to spend time together is I already considered as we are lucky though. Oh, life!

Becki said...

Sounds frustrating!

My in-laws booked a cabin for MIL's birthday a couple weeks ago. We told them we weren't available, and never followed up after that, so we didn't contribute financially either.

But I didn't really want to go...hope you can find a compromise for Orlando!

VisibleSoulPhotography said...

This makes me happy that my hubby and I are both 'only' children! lol

Grampy said...

Hi Stace. I am sorry they are doing that to you. They know you can't go.Why are people so mean? I am glad my In-Laws are not like that.I am retired and living on fixed income.My wife can't work.We watch our pennies. If someone did that to me I would kill them.

Leigh said...

Be glad you're actually like your mother in law, and it's just your sister in law you don't like.

But don't sweat it - family vacations are never what they're cracked up to be.

A Lil Enchanted said...

Hi Stace.... I know exactly what you mean.... we miss out on things other family members and friends get to do as well... usually due to lack of money.

To make yourself feel better maybe you and your family could plan your own small vacation for another time when it's good for you and you'll have the money. In the meantime you can start saving up a lil here and there for it. Give yourselves something to look forward to... and you won't have to worry about not so nice family members ruining it for you.

I left you some awards over on my blog :)

A Lil Enchanted,

Frugal Vicki said...

A. real sister's aren't any better. Neither are mother in laws that DO NO LISTEN when you tell them you are paying for about a zillion dollars in hospital bills.
b. not to wander from the post, but as I was reading, I saw my blog name on the sidebar, so I look over. You are one of those STALKERS!!!! Is there no privacy anymore? Gosh, next thing you know, you will have my cell number and underwear size. Second thought, that may be okay. Christmas IS just around the corner.