CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Saturday, April 2, 2011

So now I'm sad...

My boy moved out today.

He is settled in to his new place.

We helped him move all of his stuff which, surprisingly, took all three of our vehicles to move over.  Who knew?  We got his stuff over to the new house and he did not want our help in setting anything up.  He wanted to do it all himself.  I have to admit, I had a moment where I wanted to cry after he said it.  

I went out with some friends.  It was a great distraction.  Then I went back over there because he forgot some things and needed Frank to hang some shelves for him.  I cleaned up a bit around the place because honestly, it smelled like a sweaty armpit in there.  The other two guys have been living there for almost 3 weeks and it seems like nobody has washed a plate, taken out the trash or washed their clothes.

It was a little gross.

So tonight I'm sitting here, just wanting to cry but not do it in front of Frank.  I cried in the car, the bathroom, while cooking dinner.

All this time I've been joking with him that he's only going to be four minutes up the road and right now it feels a million miles away.

How did 19 years go by so fast?  Where is my little three year old boy who loved Thomas the Tank Engine and loved to spend time with me?  Through all of our laughter and tears and arguing and yelling, I thought that this was a good thing; I thought that this was what was supposed to be and all I know right now is that my heart hurts and I want to turn the clock back!  It's too soon!  I'm not ready!

I'm going to to and crawl in to bed and pretend that today didn't happen...

10 comments:

Ruth said...

I guess it's like what people say about becoming a parent, no matter how much you think you're ready for it you never really are.

Heck, you could always invite him home for dinner a couple times a week--tell him you want to make sure he's eating properly, that kind of thing. ;-)

Lynne said...

I'm so sorry that it was such a tough day. I do not look forward to the day when I have to experience my own daughter moving out. I do think you are right, it is the way it is supposed to be, unfortunately, that doesn't make our motherly hearts feel any better. (((hugs)))

Grampy said...

I am so sorry Stace. It is so hard for us to give up our babies. As parents they will always be that little one who needed us so much.In our minds we know they have to move on. But in the heart we don't want it.
Once again I am sorry for your pain.

Buzzing J said...

Don't worry, whatever pains or hurts he's bringing to your heart today, one day, his children would do the same to him. Be patient!

;-)

Pearl said...

Oh Stace...I feel for you.
My son is only 8, but I am now dreading the time that he would want/need to move out:(
*hugs*

Irene said...

{{Hugs!}} Being a mom is not easy --especially when we have to let go. Believe me, the heart ache lessens and you will feel better.

ceemee said...

Awww... This made me want to cry, too!

Mr Lonely said...

take care ~~~ visiting here with a smile ~~~

siteseer said...

He'll be fine. And so will you :) I did feel better when the kids got married though... it felt like I handed over the baton for someone else to look after them :) You did a good job with raising him and you can still keep an eye on him for anything you might have forgotten to teach him. Cry and feel pride in the man he is becoming.

Lin said...

Yeah, but that is what you raised him for!! (keep remembering that when you are crying--that's what I do) And it is all the more sweeter when he comes home to tell you how much he misses you. :) You will get used to him being gone and you will learn to like it....sometimes.