Thursday, July 14, 2011

In case anyone has forgotten, we are a family of FOUR!!!

Hello, my name is Stace and I am married with two children.

If you are stopping by here for the first time, this may be news to you.  If you've known me for any amount of time beyond right now, then you should KNOW that information!!  Especially if you are related to me!

I'm dealing with an awkward situation right now.  I have two children. No, that's not the awkward part.  See, when Nick was born, we still lived up in New York and so did all of our family.  Everyone was there when he was born, he spent time with all of them and we did all of the things that families do.

Fast forward a bit and we move to North Carolina and and five years later I have another child.  Michael.  No one was here while I was pregnant.  Only my sister came when he was born.  There haven't been many family get togethers so while Michael may not regularly THINK of his extended family, the adults in the family are more than aware of his existence.

They just don't seem to remember that they should remember...

It's been little things and to be honest, Nick has a very big presence.  When he is around, it's hard to notice anyone else and Michael seems content to just hang out quietly in the background.  BUT...again, the adults should know better.

First there was the time that my dad called and asked if he could have the Legos that he had given NICK as kid back.  Why?  Because he has another grandchild who wanted them.  I was like "Um...remember MICHAEL???  Because HE plays with them!"  Oops...

Then just recently we dealt with a blatant snub.  We homeschooled Nick.  His graduation from elementary school to middle school meant that he was STILL in my living room.  There was no great transition and no big whoop about the change and YET, people sent cards, gifts and called him to wish him well.  Fast forward and here's Michael, who is actually IN school and making the HUGE transition from elementary school to middle school and not ONE person called to wish him luck, congratulate him...NOTHING.  

Actually, in the last week, I have spoken to three different family members who have asked how I was, how Frank was and how Nick was.

Insert the sound of crickets chirping HERE!!!

Does anyone else see anything WRONG with that???

I am heartbroken for my son.  He is a beautiful person with a great personality and a great laugh and a big heart.  He is quiet; he doesn't like to have a lot of attention thrown his way but that doesn't mean that people - especially people who are supposed to LOVE HIM - should ignore him!  

If I have to sit on the phone and hear about your damn dogs, your neighbors, people you work with why is it that you cannot add my SON to the list of people that you have on your mind???  

When my grandmother was alive she always sent cards when we got promoted in school.  When Nick was younger and almost up until she died, she continued to to send the cards to BOTH boys.  She lived on a fixed income and was ill and yet she STILL took the time to acknowledge BOTH of my boys.

So SHAME ON YOU.  You are all missing out on knowing a wonderful little boy with sparkling blue eyes, and infectious laugh and a cute little dimple.  His curly hair is always unruly and he tends to have bumps and bruises on himself because he is always running and exploring something and if you took even FIVE minutes to speak to him once in a while or maybe even took ten seconds and ASKED how he was doing, your life would be better for it.

He does matter.  He's not invisible.  And not knowing him is YOUR loss.


Roo said...

People are so insensitive! I feel bad for you and Michael. I hope that Michael realizes how much you, Frank and Nick love him. While having the others is nice, you are the ones that matter.

unikorna said...

Maybe your son is better off those people. If they don't feel the need to call, to see him that means they don't care enough and if they don't care...then why would your son need them? I am sure he has all the love he needs from his lovely and special mom, who by the way, looks sooo young. How old are you? Pardon my indiscretion.

Petula said...

Awww... I hate to hear stuff like that. I have some of the same feelings about my younger ones because they've never been around my family, but they have their dad's family. I know that the love you, your hubs and other son are giving him will cushion him... Does he notice these slights?

Pearl said...

I hear yah...this story sounds soo familiar in our case.