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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

When relationships end...

Whether a boyfriend and girlfriend break up, friends lose touch or a marriage is on the rocks, it sucks when a relationship ends.  We've been dealing with a lot of this in the last week or so.

In the case of a breakup, it's hard to not get involved and not take sides.  Personally, I see both sides and I feel a little bit torn.  I mean, I want to shake both of them and scream YOU ARE BOTH TO BLAME! but that is not my place.  Although, I think it should be.  

Losing touch with friends?  Well, sometimes it just happens.  You don't even have to move away or anything drastic, it's just that life takes you in different directions.  I am actually quite fine with it all.  I mean, friends should support one another and if you are true friends and not superficial ones, when one is going through a rough time that is all the more reason to be supportive!  I can sadly say that I can count the number of friends who have been that for me on one hand.  

These last two years in particular have been brutal.  I mean we have faced eviction, dealt with dual unemployment, illness, depression, lawsuits and the friends that I had at the beginning of that journey are not the same people who stand with me today.  Kind of sad but I guess that's the way life goes sometimes.  I'm not bitter or angry, it all goes back to that growing and changing that I talked about a couple of weeks ago.Some people, I guess, are not comfortable being around "messy" situations because they like to pretend that their world is all shiny and perfect.  Well guess what?  Life is messy and pretty much never perfect.  That's the unfortunate reality of life. 

And marriage...well...it is a never-ending struggle.  We've hit a pretty low point around here.  I haven't felt like this since around 1995 when Frank moved down here to NC while I stayed in New York for three months.  It was nice to have a break at that point and right now, I find myself thinking that we may need one again.  We won't...we'll talk it through because if there is one thing that has always been great about our relationship it's that we talk through things.

I went to my pastor and kind of begged him to call Frank and talk to him.  He hasn't.  He told me on Sunday that he' s on vacation for the next couple of weeks but he PROMISED to call Frank when things calmed down.

Thank God no one's suicidal around here...sheesh.

2 comments:

Roo said...

{{{{HUGS}}}} Hang in there my friend and share the hugs with Frank too. I'll say a prayer for you both.

Lin said...

Relationships just go through phases and changes. Sometimes they take breaks and sometimes they just end for no reason. I think the relationships that stick are the ones that are meant to be--or maybe we just work really hard on those.

Good luck with your changes--they will work out. They always do. In the meantime, sending hugs.