The voices that won't let me sleep!

So it was a pretty eventful Monday and I'm not really liking it!  First, things went great at court for Nick - they dismissed the case and he didn't have to pay a dime.  PRAISE THE LORD!!

I gained two pounds.  Sure, I had it coming.  There was the McDonald's Angus Deluxe with fries, a 4-piece chicken nuggets, a coke AND the hot fudge sundae that I had for dinner last Wednesday night with Michael AFTER I had a spicy chicken sandwich with cole slaw and a side salad (also with a coke) from Chic-Fil-A for lunch with Nick!  For those of you who are wondering?  That was NOT on the Weight Watchers plan!

Day two of school went well.  The boy did his homework without major complaining so that, in my book, is a victory.  The bus situation?  I'm still not impressed.  I don't think I mentioned this but because of stupid budgeting, there aren't enough busses this year and so the elementary school (where Michael goes) and the middle school (which is on the same property) now have to SHARE their busses.  What this means basically is that the elementary school lets out at 2:40...they release the car pool kids and the YMCA kids and then the bus kids get released at 2:50.  They load their busses and then drive over to the middle school which doesn't release until 3:05.  Now you're waiting for THOSE kids to board the bus before departing school property - approximately 30 minutes after the initial release.  Both Friday and today, Michael has gotten home at 3:40 - an HOUR after his initial release.  I am extending grace in that I am giving the bus driver a week to see if she adjusts to the route, extra kids, etc. but if by Friday he is not getting home any earlier then I have to seriously consider going back to car pooling - which I hate.  

Well, hate is really a strong word.  I have no one to actually "car pool" with - they have all buddied up already and so...the cheese stands alone, so to speak.  So I'll be sacrificing my time to save my boy some time in his day.  That's what mom's are supposed to do, right?


I need to find an agent.  Seriously.  I am writing and writing and writing and would really love to sit down with someone and get some guidance on how to find an agent and to tweak my pitch/query but we are BROKE right now.  Totally and completely broke.  So not going to happen right now.


And speaking of broke...I was going to go away for the weekend with a friend down to Myrtle Beach.  Actually, about 30 miles south of Myrtle Beach but due to finances and other life annoyances, I had to back out of that and I'm NOT happy about it!  


I worked out at the Y on Friday and my butt is STILL sore!


I'm thinking about going back to school.  Clearly no one wants to hire me "as is" and so I'm seriously contemplating that whole "Obama wants moms to go back to school" angle and see what I can do.  I'm meeting with a friend on Wednesday to try and make heads or tails out of the whole shebang.


I am going to be published THREE times on the Magic for Less guest blog.  My first article is up and running and the other two will run at the end of the month.  I won two 5x7 Photopass pictures for our next trip - it's a sweet $25 deal - so yeah, me!


Now to turn on the fan, get under the blankets and pray for sleep...

Keep those pictures in a drawer, for crying out loud!

So has this ever happened to you?  You go to an event, you take pictures, you get them developed and then put them in a photo album?  Sounds normal, right?  What could you possibly have to argue about with such a situation?  Well, I'll tell you...

I have been in scrapbooking mode for the last two weeks.  While Nick was away, it was a way for me to have something to do so that I wasn't obsessing about where he was and what he was doing.  So I had scrapbooked the pictures from a wedding we went to back in October where Nick was a groomsman (it was his girlfriend's sister's wedding) and then I did the pictures from the photo shoot that Nick and Beckah had when they were up in the mountains helping her aunt out (who is the nutritionist and for her wellness retreat) and then, finally, our pictures from Thanksgiving when we went back to the same aunt's house in the mountains.  The second album was from graduation.  All 240 pictures from graduation.

Still sounds normal, right?

This has turned in to a great source of angst in my home.  Why?  Because Frank feels that I am already treating Nick and Beckah as if they are married because I have these photo albums that are primarily THEM.  He's like "What if they break up?"  So what does that mean - that I should NEVER take pictures because they might or might not be together ten years from now?  What's up with that?  If that's your mind set then I guess I should never take pictures of anyone but the four of us because the rest of the world is just too unpredictable!  Seriously!  I guess you shouldn't take pictures at weddings because, hey, they might get divorced.  Don't take pictures at birthday parties because you may not be friends with these people somewhere down the road! 
 
Frank has argued that I'm taking it the wrong way and that he's not saying that but he has no other way to describe what he's trying to say.  My point was that these pictures document NICK'S life!  He was IN the wedding party, he HAD a professional photo shoot done, HE graduated!  I mean, somewhere in the conversation it seemed that it didn't bother him that I TOOK the pictures, just that I was putting them in nice scrapbooks.  Maybe I should just take the pictures, develop them, and then cram them in a drawer and never look at them again!  Honestly, the man makes me crazy!

Why are men so weird???

Yet another life lesson to be learned...dang it!

A little over a month ago, Nick got a ticket.  No, he wasn't speeding or anything like that, his registration was expired.  He's got the ticket, he's got the court date which is finally here.

On Monday, the boy has to go in to the big city (insert sarcastic tone here) of Raleigh and go to the county courthouse to take care of this matter.  He is literally freaking out.  Big time.  You know, when you get a ticket, people come out of the woodwork to share their court horror stories or victory stories and you know what?  There is NO consistency!  We have no idea what to expect on Monday because it is different for everyone.

It used to be if you got a ticket for something like an expired registration or inspection sticker and you had it taken care of by your court date, then the case was dismissed and no fine to be paid.  We're hoping for THAT scenario.  But at other times, there have been fees to pay that seem to vary.  So now not only is my boy freaking out, but now he's confused too!

Frank can't go with him to court because it's at 11:00 and he'll be at work (God willing) and I can't go because...well, I technically CAN go but really, I don't want to go.  I hate the court house.  The Wake County court system has done some pretty horrible things to us such as mis-typing a code on a ticket that Frank got that ended up having his license suspended and when we fought it and had to get a lawyer involved the court was like "OOPS, the clerk typed in the wrong code.  Sorry."  Now, Frank lost a LOT of work due to his inability to DRIVE anywhere and we had to pay $1200 for a lawyer!  In my mind, the state owed us more than an apology.  Then there was the time that Frank got a ticket because he was target shooting on the gamelands and even though it does not state ANYWHERE that you cannot do it, he got the ticket - and then FORGOT about the ticket.  Cops came to the house, took him away in cuffs, I had to bail him out, blah, blah, blah and when he finally went to court, NO ONE - not even the JUDGE knew why he got the ticket!  But they made him pay the $90 court cost!!  Bottom line, I am NOT a fan of the court system.

So Lea, Alison...friends that have North Carolina policemen in their family, if you have any advice, I would love to hear it so I can put his mind at ease and feel better about NOT going with him!

I'm more excited than he is!

Here in North Carolina there are a lot of year-round schools and Michael goes to one of them.  We have enjoyed the year-round experience for the most part and today was our big "Back to School/Meet the Teacher" extravaganza!

I normally dread these things because it's like you go, you meet, you barely get to talk because there is always ONE parent who thinks that the whole purpose of this is to talk about HER child and I am normally standing in line behind her.  Not a pleasant experience.  So we went and can I just say that I LOVE this teacher!  Honestly, I spoke to her (alone and with other moms) for maybe a total of ten minutes but I am seriously giddy at the thought of her being Michael's teacher.

A.)  She is a history major and Michael is a HUGE history buff - reading about World War II in his spare time and watching the History Channel for fun.

B.)  She is an older woman who seems very wise and friendly and very competent in how to handle all of the little quirks that come with a classroom full of 10-year olds.

And finally...C.)  She is a Disney fanatic.

GOD HAS HEARD OUR PRAYERS!!!

This Moment in Hardcore - Part 2

So my boy is home from Cornerstone and it has been a whirlwind of discussion of all that went on, who they met, blah, blah, blah and suddenly it is like they are being "courted" by different magazines and websites who want to know more about them and get them to advertise with these different genres and my boy is just giddy beside himself!

So while the wheels are in motion, we decided to start up a blog to help promote who "This Moment in Hardcore" (TMiH) is and so you can check out the new blog HERE.

There isn't much content there yet but keep watching because I am thinking that something BIG is going to come of this by the end of the summer!  

Stay tuned...

It's like a moving epidemic!

You know, when you have a child that is graduating you get a lot of "So when is he moving out?" from people you know and at some point you will hear "I can't WAIT to move out" from your child.  We've heard that from Nick but we're pretty secure in the knowledge that he's not going anywhere anytime soon because well, he can't.  Financially he is pretty much stuck living with us, like it or not.

After having him be away for ten days I am almost giddy at the thought of seeing him tonight.  I missed him terribly but I knew that - God willing - he would be back.  When I was lamenting on much I couldn't wait to see him, my girl Danette joked that she was going to record me saying that because a week from now I'm going to want to kill him over something stupid that he does!  Sad but true.


Tonight I was on Facebook and a friend commented on my big "NICK IS COMING HOME" status that her son left for Iowa today to live.  He moved out, felt like he could not really do anything here job-wise and left.   He is the same age as Nick.  As a matter of fact, they have been friends since they were four years old!  His mom was sick with worry about his traveling which I COMPLETELY understood and really, it's a weird time of life because I know, for me anyway, that there are times that you WISH they'd move out; they make you crazy, they're messy and inconsiderate, they smell and argue about everything but then there are times like what I am feeling right now where I am practically standing with my face pressed up against the window because Frank just called to say that he is almost home with our son.

One of the families that we graduated with a month ago and who we have been friends with for a couple of years had their graduate essentially leave home the day after graduation with no real warning.  I believe she left a note.  She didn't like their rules and having to live with them and so she moved in with a neighbor or some such thing!  The parents are devastated and beside themselves and yet, at the same time, feeling a little bit of relief that there will be a little less stress and strife in their lives.

I know that moving out is something that we all do and it is part of life but I long for the days or maybe the reports from someone that it wasn't done in haste or in anger...that it was just as it was supposed to be...because it's time.

The Cornerstone Chronicles: Day Seven - Final Chapter

So the big Cornerstone Festival is now part of our history.  Nick and Matt left the grounds early this morning around 7 a.m and were on their way to St. Louis for a bit of sight-seeing and then it is on to Nashville for the night.

He called me this morning around 10 and I am ashamed to admit that I had slept through church due to my husband's ROCK STAR performance yesterday at the block party!  But I managed to stumble from the bed to answer the phone and talk to my boy who is SO excited to actually sleep in a bed last night and asked if I would be willing to pick him up from Matt's house tomorrow night when they get in rather than sleeping at Matt's as originally planned.  At this point, I'd almost be willing to meet him in Tennessee just to see him and hug him!

I was not aware that he had taken a camera with him (I knew he had a video camera with him but had no idea about the regular camera) and so I am excited to see some pictures when he gets back.  I'm hoping they take some in St. Louis as well as Nashville since I've never been to either one of them.

I was blessed this week with the gift of time - time to get some things done that otherwise I might not have.  It had nothing to do with Cornerstone but I'm just feeling a sense of accomplishment right now with the fact that I got TWO scrapbooks done this week and they both look good.  I spent time with friends and am in the process of making plans for the upcoming weeks with other friends.  Life is good.  Michael goes back to school on FRIDAY (what is up with THAT??) and so life will start returning to normal.

Whatever that is...

The Cornerstone Chronicles: Day Six

Okay, so today is officially the LAST DAY of Cornerstone and my boy is so ready to come home!  That is a good thing.  I think I would have been devastated had he had such a good time that coming home was a bad thing.  

He called this morning, early again, and exhausted still.  They will sleep in the tent for one more night and then leave tomorrow morning on their way to St. Louis where they'll spend a couple of hours and then on to Nashville where they will spend the night.  I have to admit, I'm kind of jealous of that part. I'm not a fan of country music or anything, but I've always wanted to go to Nashville...and Memphis and visit Graceland.  Again, not a fan of Elvis, but I sort of have a weird "thing" about dead celebrities and where they lived.  TMI, perhaps.

All in all he seemed to have a great week and learned some valuable lessons for next time - like take an air mattress or padding of some sort and bring more clothes because you never know when the weather is going to turn cold!  Good times.

As for me, today is the block party where Frank's band is going to play for the first time.  Luckily, I do not have to be there until around 6.  It's pretty nice outside today - not as oppressive as weeks gone by so I may just survive this. 


I'll let you know...

The Cornerstone Chronicles: Day Five

While basking in the afterglow of a child-free night, I woke up this morning after Frank had long-since left for work and got a phone call from Nick.  Again, a very tired Nick.

I didn't think it was possible for him to sound any more tired than he did yesterday, but he did.  He even mentioned how they thought about leaving today and coming home early.  BUT...one of their favorite bands will be playing tomorrow and so they are going to stick it out and see it all through to the end.  The crazy thing is that most of these bands are going to be here in Raleigh next week for "Scream the Prayer" - which is an all-day Christian concert that Nick went to a year ago.  How ironic is that?  He was like "Why did we do this when we could have just seen all these bands at home?"  I kind of felt bad for him.

Believe it or not, I encouraged him to stay and told him he'd be sorry if he left before it was done.  How do I know this?  Because for MY senior trip (way back when) my mom and I flew to California (we lived in New York at the time) and had a 10-day trip planned.  We started in San Francisco and then drove the coast to L.A. stopping along the way in some of the most beautiful places.  And you know what?  We LEFT EARLY because we were both in fairly new relationships with our boyfriends and didn't want to be away from them any longer!  HOW STUPID WERE WE???  I mean, my mother went on to marry her loser and spent 20 years in hell with him whereas the dumbass that I was dating turned out to be my biggest mistake.  You know the type, the kind of guy that makes every other guy on the planet look good because he's so awful?  Yeah, THAT guy.  So had I stayed in California those two extra days, he could have cheated sooner and we could have broken up sooner.

Hindsight and all that...

The Cornerstone Chronicles: Day Four

My boy sounds very, very tired.  He is still having fun but he is exhausted.  Talk about rock til you drop!  He called this afternoon while I was out and I had left explicit instructions with Frank (who was home with no work today) that our son's cell phone had died and so when he called, the caller ID would say his friend Matt's name and to make sure that he answered it.  I even told him around the time to expect the call.

You see where this is going, right?

I was out all morning with friends and got home around 2:30 and there are SEVERAL messages on the machine so I'm like "Who called?" and Frank's like "I don't know".  

Really?

So I go through the numbers on the phone - because listening to the messages would be the NORMAL thing to do - and sure enough, Nick had called.  I'm like "YOU MISSED NICK'S CALL??"  (ready to strangle the man!) and he's like "I guess".  Now I'm seriously contemplating the homicide and decide to pull it together and just call Nick back on the friend's phone.  No answer.  We leave him a message to call us back on our cell phones because we were going to be out running errands and whatnot.  

Clearly he did not get the message because he called us again, a few minutes later mind you, on the home phone.  My heart broke when I heard his tired little voice.  I just want to run over there with a real meal and a cushion for his sleeping bag and just a whole heaping load of "there-there".  But I can't.  After talking for a few minutes and getting all of the updates, I finally did listen to the messages and he sounded pitiful on there, too.

But you know what?  As tired and pitiful as he sounds, he is still having fun and he will be talking about this for YEARS to come.  But still, I am counting down till Tuesday.  You know what got me through tonight?  Michael got invited to a spur-of-the-moment sleepover and so Frank and I got a night out and were able to come home to a house that we had to ourselves.

Excuse me while I go swing from the chandelier!!

Oh, and Jenn?  A windmill kick is when you swing your leg in a high kick in front of you and purposefully kick someone in the face!  Crazy, right?

The Cornerstone Chronicles: Day Three

Okay, so things really seem to be happening now.  The boy has settled in, so to speak, and has interviews lined up for This Moment in Hardcore and is moshing his little heart out.

He feels like an 85 year old man.

No lie, he was telling me of all the aches and pains he feels right now from the moshing and sleeping in a tent and I'm like "Wait, aren't you like 18?  This should be a breeze for you!"  Apparently not.  No breeze, just pain.

I have to give the boy credit because A.) he is doing it.  He had a goal and he followed it through.  B.) He's never camped before and here he is sleeping in a tent for a week.  Sorry but I'd be at the local Holiday Inn by now.  and C.)  Other than the whining that I KNOW is going to come home with him, he is taking it all in stride and having fun.  Good for him!

I miss him like crazy.  I spent the day today scrapbooking.  The first set of pictures was from his girlfriend's sister's wedding back in October.  He looked so handsome as a groomsman!  And then tonight I started on the mass of pictures from graduation.  I think I have 200 of them to go through, organize and get in to a book.  It's not happening all tonight...it's a process.  But through it all, I am looking at picture after picture of his amazing smile and his big brown eyes and all I can think is that I can't wait for him to be home on Tuesday.  I am going to hug him and never want to let go.

He is probably moshing away right now, windmill-kicking someone in the face...all in the name of Jesus!

The Cornerstone Chronicles: Day Two

Okay, so they arrived safely in Illinois.  Praise the Lord.  Their first official day on the grounds was yesterday and when I spoke to Nick last night he was a little less than enthusiastic.  I was just so thrilled that he called me TWICE that it didn't hit me right away that he didn't seem as excited as he was before he left.

So in our second conversation last night I asked him how he was.  "I'm alive" he replied.  I was like, what does that mean?  And he's like "Just...I'm alive".  It turns out that it's not as big as he originally thought it was going to be, the bands that he did see yesterday weren't as good as he thought they would be.  This Moment in Hardcore did their first interview yesterday and he said that that went well but he was still lacking in that hyper-excitement that I associate with my son.

They went and did their food shopping for the week and spent a whopping $45.  They were making some frozen P.F. Chang's beef and broccoli while we were talking last night.  Now, I'm not big on camping but that just seemed wrong.  Where were the hot dogs?  Burgers?  Smores??

I miss him terribly.  I want to hug him.  I am hoping that today is a much better day for him.  The plan is for him to call us around dinner time so that everyone will be here for him to talk to.  Can't wait!!

The Cornerstone Chronicles: Day One

Okay, so the boys got on the road this morning around ten and were surprised that they could even sleep last night.  They contemplated leaving last night but decided to actually sleep first.  

Nick's called me twice today - like a good son - and was just giddy with the whole experience.  They are on the road from North Carolina to Illinois.  I gotta be honest with you, I have no idea what form of Mapquest they used because their route seems to be a bit different from the one I looked up.  

The first call came when they were near the Virginia/West Virginia line.  They were at a rest-stop and getting ready for Nick to take over the driving.  He has no problem with driving on the major highways and Interstates so that's a good thing.  The second call came from Kentucky.  Nick was getting ready to drive again through in to Indiana.  The further away he gets, the more excited he gets and the more my heart lodges in my throat...


I'm a weenie, I know.


They will probably hit the site somewhere around 2 a.m. and they are just going to apparently get in the line with the other cars that will reach around 13 miles long at some point on Monday.  The lot and camp sites don't open up until noon on Monday so tonight could be a LONG night for them with a lot of just sitting around in the car.  Fun.


So today was good; he was in contact.  We'll see what happens tomorrow when the shows actually start and he is in the midst of the excitement...

Another mile-marker on the mommy journey...

Okay moms...I've hit some sort of "milestone" today and I don't like it.  Today Nick packed up and loaded the car to head to Illinois (15 hours away) to go to Cornerstone - the 6 day Christian concert extravaganza.

He is 18.  He has graduated.  By all accounts I should be okay with all of this.

I'm not.

Remember the first time you let your parents have your child overnight when they were a baby?  Remember their first sleepover at a friend's house?  Maybe the first time they went to sleep-away camp?  Well this is WORSE!  You know why?  Because he is far away.  He is far away and if something were to happen I can't get to him!  

Frank keeps reassuring me that nothing is going to happen and all of my crying and worrying will be for nothing.  There is a good chance that he is right.  BUT... there is also a chance that he is going to be wrong.  When your child is with your parents, there is someone right there that loves them and will protect them - but things can happen.  When they sleep at a friend's house you can feel safe knowing that you are friends with the family and they will do their best to protect your child.  He is going to be in a big, open field with like 100,000 people who DON'T know him and DON'T love him and could care less about protecting him because they are too busy protecting themselves!

I am a wreck.  Technically, he hasn't even left the state yet as I write this.  Technically, he won't be even on the road until after breakfast tomorrow but he's sleeping at a friend's house tonight.  Protected.  

Before he left today, we hugged and he saw my eyes tearing up and he told me to relax, that he'd be back.  I almost wish he hadn't said that because it put the thought more firmly in my mind!  Plus, he's going off to a concert (he reminded me) not off to war.  That made me think of my friends who have children fighting for our country in dangerous parts of the world and it made me feel petty for crying about my son having the freedom to go and enjoy himself at a Christian festival while they may never see their children again because they are in war-torn parts of the world.  

THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG TEN DAYS!!!

Pray for me friends. 

Facebook Personality Test

Out of boredom the other night, I was clicking around on Facebook and found this personality test.  You know, sometimes these things are way off but his time it was pretty much dead on!

The Provider:
In general, ESFJs are helpful people who place a high value on harmony. Paying close attention to people's needs and wants, they work well with others to complete tasks in a timely and accurate way. ESFJs follow through on their commitments. They like closure and prefer structured, organized situations in which warmth and compassion are shown. They contribute to others by anticipating their day-to-day concerns and handling them with warmth and efficiency. ESFJs are at their best in organizing people to get a job done.

The Extrovert:
You scored 63% in the direction of Extraversion, which means you are clearly an Extrovert. People who are clearly Extroverts are naturally active and social people. They spend lots of time outwardly expressing themselves through conversation, collaboration, or recreation. They draw energy from this sort of interaction and quickly grow restless if they have to spend too much time alone or not engaged in some sort of activity.

The Sensor:

You scored 67% in the direction of Sensing, which means you are clearly a Sensor. People who are clearly Sensors are down to earth and sensible. They trust facts and experience over ideas and imagination, and have a knack for noticing and remembering details. They focus on the present and living life as it is, holding tradition in high regard. 

The Feeler:
You scored 58% in the direction of Feeling, which means you are clearly a Feeler. People who are clearly Feelers are very supportive and appreciative of others, making those around them feel comfortable and welcome at all times. They prefer to avoid conflict and instead focus on the positive. They are very people-oriented and can quickly read a person's emotional state before a word is exchanged.

The Judger:

You scored 94% in the direction of Judging, which means you are clearly a Judger. People who are clearly Judgers love to make decisions. Organized and thorough in their work, they make and stick to plans. One of life's small pleasures for them is checking off items on their to-do lists. Every thing in their lives has its place, and they are diligent about putting it there.

Here's a thought...

Sitting home this last week has had me watching more TV and reading more magazines than I ever wanted too - and that's on top of my time just surfing the internet.  So with all of this information swirling in my brain, here's a couple of thoughts:

1.)  Would somebody PLEASE get me Miley Cyrus' parents on the phone and let me explain to them ALL of the reasons why their 17-year old daughter should wear underwear!  I mean, REALLY???  Does no one else have a problem with this?  There is no level of "celebrity" that makes it okay to be out and about, surrounded by paparazzi while wearing a dress and flashing your hoo-ha to the world!  BAD PARENTING, BILLY RAY!!!

2.)  Note to Jermaine Jackson:  It is rather disgusting how you are STILL trying to cash in on your brother's death by holding interviews in front of his tomb!  It's creepy and wrong and really, doesn't it bother you just a little bit that the only way you are getting attention is because of your brother's death?

3.)  Should it even make it on the news anymore when a couple from the "reality" (and I use that term lightly) show "The Bachelor" break up?

4.)  There is no movie EVER that has made me camp out in a tent for DAYS in a line to get tickets.  If Elvis came back from the dead along with Jimmy Stewart and they made a movie - I STILL would not camp out to see it!

5.)  Taylor Swift was picked on because she went out in a modest bikini...while  yes, it seemed a little outdated, all I can say is at least she had bottoms on!

6.)  And back to the Jackson's for a moment:  I find it so offensively disgusting how hard Joe Jackson is trying to make a buck off of Michael's name.  You know, a normal parent would grieve and be vocal about finding justice for his son's premature death not out autographing belts to sell with his son's name on them.  Disgusting.

7.)  American Idol is talking about lowering it's age limits for next season's auditions.  Why?  Do we not have enough young singers who start out sweet and innocent and then get exploited to the point that they are pole dancing at 16 (while their parents watch!) and walking around half naked at 17 (again, parents still watching), married several times by the time they are 22 after dating MEN while still underaged!  Why would such a popular show want to promote such behavior??

8.)  So while millions upon millions of gallons of oil are spewing all over the ocean, some BP exec is off watching a yacht race?  Really?  So wrong on so many levels, I'm not even sure where to begin??  It seems to me like this situation has been going on WAY too long...probably because these executive types are only spending a small portion of their time focusing on the problem.  It must be hard to actually have to think about WORK while the summer social season is just kicking up! 

Great, now I have guilt...

Okay, ladies, I know I am not alone in this scenario.  Your husband takes the initiative and makes plans for you (and the family perhaps).  He's very excited about it, he's pleased with himself that he has stepped up and gotten it done and meanwhile all you can do is sit back, maybe smile, and think "Crap, how am I going to get out of this one?"

Here's my deal:  Frank has been playing with a band once a week.  They jam, they've written some original stuff and the plan was always to go out and play somewhere in front of an audience.  Well, that time has come...in the form of a block party on July 3rd.  Really?  Are you kidding me?  Why not sit me on the freakin equator!!  So he's all psyched that they are finally going to play and all I'm thinking is "How long am I going to be expected to hang out at said block party - with people that I don't really know?"  "Can I take my own car?"  And "Sure, I get sick two weeks BEFORE the darn thing - he'll never believe that I get strep AGAIN!"


So, I've resigned myself to this day of misery where I will sit outside and bake in the hellish July sun, cursing my very existence and his talent for playing the drums.  But then...a little ray of hope.  One of the guitar players has just announced that he has decided to join the military.  Seriously, these guys range in age all over the place.  So if this guy leaves, they can't play!  I have had to SIT on my own hands to keep from clapping and appearing too giddy.

The band is having a "secret meeting" Monday night to discuss this dilemma without said guitar player.  Is it wrong that I plan on sitting home and praying that this particular gig does not happen and that it happens later at an indoor venue with air conditioning???

And the doctor says...

So I finally caved today and went to the doctor.  Not because I really wanted to, but because when I woke up this morning not only did I still feel like crap but my left I was crusted shut.  I didn't think that was a good sign.

I have Pink Eye.

Seriously.

I mean, who can believe this???  Not only do I have pink eye, but I have swollen glands, my throat is red and irritated and there are spots on my tonsils which COULD be strep - the results will be back on Monday.  And if it IS strep, then I have to go see an ENT to see about getting my tonsils out.  That is what I have been trying to avoid.  I am so annoyed with myself.  I don't know WHY I keep getting sick like this but I want it to stop.

Wouldn't it be nice if it actually did just because I said so??

A little frustration...

Okay, so I'm sure you're tired of hearing this but...I'm sick again.  I think I have a serious problem and I know what the doctor is going to suggest and maybe subconsciously I'm thinking that if I don't go to the doctor, then it will all go away.  But it's not.

My throat is sore, I have little to no voice, I have extreme pain in my sinuses.  Bottom line is that I feel like crap.  So tonight I'm talking to my friend Danette and she's like "are they (meaning my family) babying you and taking care of you?" And you know what?  They're not!  Not even a little bit!  

When Frank got home from work yesterday, I was essentially mute and I was in so much pain I was crying and he was asking what I was making for dinner!  I practically coughed up a lung while watching TV later on and went to bed at 10 after taking a gallon of Nyquil and do you think he offered to take Michael to camp this morning?  No.  

Then, because that all isn't enough, tonight was the finale to the week of Runner's Camp that Michael was at this week and they held a big track meet at the local high school.  So I cooked dinner for five of us and packed it up, bought snacks and drinks, baked cookies, took it all to the school only to have Michael get sick behind the bleachers because of the heat and we all had to leave!  I'll admit to being a bad mom because I was like "I COULD HAVE STAYED HOME!!" instead of feeling sympathetic for my child.  I was having my own pity-party instead of being concerned that my child was possibly suffering heat stroke!  How freakin' hideous am I???

I took the last Vicodin that I had in the house and you know what?  It's not helping the pain!  If anything, my sinuses are throbbing even more!  What the hell???  Oh, but Michael is much better.  We got him in the A/C, gave him lots of water and when we got home, he took a cool shower.  He's watching cartoons and eating toast right now looking cute as can be.  

What a day!!!

Outback Steakhouse Came Through...

Okay, so remember when I told  you about the HORRIBLE experience we had at the Outback Steakhouse graduation weekend?  How the chicken wings were raw?  Plates were forgotten?  Food brought out at weird times?  Nearly killing my sister with peanuts?  Well, I wrote them a letter; actually, an e-mail.  To their corporate office.

So tonight I'm sitting here having prayer time with my small group and the phone rings - Outback.  I apologized to the ladies and answered the phone.  It was the owner (one of) calling to apologize and then repeatedly thank me for writing them and taking the time to talk to her tonight.  I was very explicit in my letter about how I felt about EVERYTHING that happened and so after 15 minutes of her apologizing, she is sending me $150 Outback gift card to use at ANY Outback Steakhouse to comp us for our meal.  How sweet is that??

You know, sometimes you have to speak up when someone (or someplace) does  you wrong.  Otherwise, they'll just screw some other family out celebrating and ruin their night!  Either way, I'm glad that I took the time to write to them and now I'll wait and see if they actually follow through on their offer and send the gift card.  If they do, I think we'll save it until we go to Florida in November to see my in-laws and try this whole dinner thing again!

I Guess I Really am Getting Smaller...

The quest for weight loss is still going on and I am still doing Weight Watchers although I feel that I have just begun "Phase 2".  No, that's not an actual Weight Watchers term but for me it means getting my sorry butt back on track and stopping this piddly half a pound weight loss nonsense and getting serious about it again. 

Sort of.

Anyway, I'm down 22 pounds and yes that is a good thing but really, it's averaged out to about a pound a week and that to me is not good.  Now calm down health nuts who are thinking that this is the way that we are supposed to lose weight.  I KNOW that, I just don't personally like it.  I would be happy with a little more each week like a pound and a half to two pounds BUT in order for that to start happening I guess I would have to stop eating icing right out of the can and chasing it down with a Coke!

Having said all that, I ordered a new bathing suit and a pair of track pants from the Disney Store online last week and they came in the mail today.  When I ordered, I was feeling optimistic - just  a little - and ordered the bathing suit in the smaller size than the website recommended for my measurements and you know what?  It looks AWESOME!!!  AND...I have to send the track pants back because they are too darn big!  Woo-Hoo-Again!!!  Can I get a hallelujah??  

It feels good to be shrinking...even slowly...

18 and Life...

You want to know a phrase that I NEVER want to hear again?  

"I'm 18..."

Somewhere, someone started this rumor that all of the wonders of the world open up to you at 18.  Lies!  All lies!  Any time that we ask Nick to do something that he does not want to do, he starts with "I'm 18 and...blah, blah, blah", any time we remind him of his responsibilities, it's "I'm 18 and...blah, blah, blah."
And you want to know what is funny about these responses?  They CONSTANTLY are at direct odds with each other.  I mean one time "I'm 18" means that he is a mature individual and therefore should not have to listen to his parents any longer and then (usually not long after the first declaration) he will use that line to get out of doing something because being 18 means that he is just supposed to have fun.

Seriously?  Are you kidding me with this stuff?

Now I know that he did not create this "I'm 18" phenomenon...hell, I remember using it myself when I was 18 and to my parents, let me just say that I am sorry.  I find the fact that I am still alive and have full use of my legs a huge testament to your patience and understanding.  

What the boy does not understand is that biologically being 18 years of age does not give you super powers and does not entitle you to be a total BRAT to everyone around you.  If you are going to claim the 18 as a maturity level, then be prepared to go full-throttle with it.  Be mature.  Take care of your responsibilities and don't MAKE us have to talk to you like a child and remind you to do the things that you need to do.  

Here's something:
E - everything is NOT about you
I - insulting your parents is not winning you any points
G - GET OUT AND GET A REAL JOB!
H - how much longer are you planning on living here?
T - TEEN!
E - enough of the nonsense
E - every argument is getting tiresome
N - NEVER say "I'm 18" to me again!


I love you, my son, but you are seriously making me crazy!!! 

Life after graduation...

I feel like today is officially the first day that I am back to normal.  So much of the last nine months has been spent planning and thinking and thinking and planning for graduation that now I kind of don't know what to do with myself.  

My house looks amazing.  I mean, in the almost 15 years that we have lived in this house, it's the first time that I actually LIKE driving up to it because it looks so nice.  With the exception of the bathroom, the rest of my house looks good too and has been cleaned within an inch of it's life and so we're just maintaining.  I've gotten all of our pictures developed and am already planning what my graduation scrapbook will look like BUT I have no money for that right now.

Frank has been out of work now for a couple of weeks and I have to tell you, after doing all of these home improvements and hosting a kick-ass graduation party and weekend we DESPERATELY need for him to be working.  He's pretty laid back about it because he knows that he has work...in JULY.  Me?  I'm freaking out.  I am steadily losing my mind with each passing day.  Not a good feeling.  

Michael is tracked out for a month and he is at camp this week.  We had to be there at 8:00 this morning and I pick him up at noon and it is hot like fire outside.  I slathered him in sunscreen and can only pray that he will not come home like a tiny lobster.

I went back to Weight Watchers this morning after a two-week ban, I mean, hiatus, and actually lost a half a pound.  Not too shabby considering that I ate everything that wasn't nailed down this last week including icing from a can.  Not one of my prouder moments, I can tell you that!

So here I sit eating grapes while Frank is folding laundry and I'm waiting to jump on the carpool line for camp pickup.  I don't think this was the way life was quite supposed to be...

Seriously, I need some sleep!

For two nights in a row now, I have gotten little to no sleep.  It's starting to freak me out because I actually take something to help me sleep - Melatonin - and yet I still can't STAY asleep.

Friday night I was up until almost two in the morning - just couldn't fall asleep.  Finally went to bed, slept for an hour and then was wide awake.  So I got up and went on the computer until after 4, went back to sleep and slept on and off until 7:30 when the alarm went off for Frank, and then went back to sleep and slept on and off for another couple of hours.  I hate that!

Last night I went to bed around midnight and woke up around 3 because of a thunderstorm.  I got up and unplugged the computers, had something to drink and then crawled back in to bed where I was tortured until I could take it no more and got up around 7.  Frank is a HUGE snorer and last night he was in rare form and added flinging his arms around for some extra fun.

I can totally understand now why couples sleep in separate beds.  Right now I'd kill for my own room!

So proud!

Okay, so a homeschool graduation ceremony is a little bit different from your typical public school graduation ceremony.  Besides the obvious - there are a lot less students, it is also a lot more personalized.  Actually, it wasn't as personalized as I (OR the graduates) wanted, but that's because some people are just hypocrites and nasty and think that the entire world should cater to them!  But I digress...


By the time we got to the church that morning, everything was set up and ready to go.  The fellowship hall looked amazing and there were some great spots for taking pictures.  We took advantage of them and then it was a little chaotic as I ran around with last minute things.  Nothing ever goes smoothly and after the Color Guard arrived late, there were traffic jams and so we started just a little bit later than planned.  No big deal...


Nick was the first one out - and I just about cried at the sight of him.  It still doesn't seem possible to me that he is 18 and graduating.  He smiled so much and he looked so handsome.  It was just amazing.  In some ways it made the ceremony great because he was first in everything but once we were done...well, there was nothing to look forward to because, well...we were done!  He was the first to appear in the slide show and first for the diploma.


The main part of the ceremony involves the parents presenting their graduate with their diploma.  It was pretty cool.  Nick's name was called, we walked up to the stage and he walked and picked up a rose for me.  Up on the stage we gave a 2 minute speech which told (or SHOULD have told) how proud we are of our graduates.  Ninety-nine percent of the parents did that.  I liked our speech.  Actually, I am normally a pretty good and confident public speaker but Frank had to step up behind me and hold me because I was shaking so badly!!  But I got through it and my boy looked thrilled to get his diploma.


After all of the cake searching, we finally found a bakery that could do what we wanted to do.  Sponge Bob sat proudly on the front of the cake and really, it was just an amazing work of art and delicious, too!  I think I mentioned in my last post that they cut the cake almost as you would expect a couple to at a wedding.  While I understand that both of their names were on the cake, it was still a little off-putting that our kids were doing that.  My father in law was loving it and I think he kept egging them on to watch the look on my face!  Not funny, dad!  Totally not funny!


We had a great party and Nick just seemed to smile the entire time.  After almost a year of preparation and anticipation, I cannot believe that it is done and over with.  Thank God I have another 8 years before Michael graduates because I am still exhausted!

Look Who's Back!

Okay, so I think things are finally returning to normal.  I have SURVIVED graduation and life is now back to being it's usual boring self.  Woo-hoo!  Hooray for boring!

For a quick over-view of the graduation hooplah...here it is:
First, my dad came.  Yes, I know, I know, it was unexpected and he never actually called me to tell me that he was coming but he made all of his arrangements and let my sister know that he was coming so we were prepared.  Nick picked him up from the airport and on Friday night I hosted a dinner for my in-laws AND my parents for the first time in the almost 22 years that Frank and I have been together.  It was a little awkward but I survived.


Graduation day was beautiful.  I mean, the ceremony was beautiful, everyone behaved for the most part.  The royal pain-in-my-butt mom took TWICE the amount of time to speak as we were allowed and basically praised herself during it but other than that, the ceremony was perfect.  Frank even cried!


We had a wonderful party for both Nick and Beckah and we had more food than we knew what to do with.  Again, everyone behaved, we had a lot of laughs and other than the fact that the grads cut their cake like it was a wedding cake, it was all good.  THAT was an awkward moment.  


We all hung out back at the local hotel that everyone was staying at and really, I was so pleased with the way that it all went, I was just giddy.  Sunday we had everyone here for lunch and ate most of the leftovers and then...it all went horribly wrong.


First, my sister's flight home was canceled because of tornado watches up in New York.  They closed JFK airport and so she and my nephew had to stay an extra day.  That was fine but she was freaking out about the threat of weather - she has a catering business and had a couple of outdoor parties going on so she was worried about her staff, her stuff, her clients...I finally took her for a drive to calm her down.  I was thrilled that we had an extra day.  


We went to dinner at the Outback that night and let me start by saying that I LOVE eating at the Outback.  It is my favorite restaurant.  Or...it WAS.  Everything that could go wrong at a meal, did.  They forgot plates, the chicken wings were undercooked and had to be sent back, our food came out at such different times that half of the table was done eating before the other half even began!  Meals came out missing half of their stuff and then, THEN, to comp us they brought out two complimentary desserts and didn't tell us that one of them had nuts in it and so my sister, who is highly allergic to nuts, took a bite and went in to reaction mode with swelling tongue, lips and throat closing!  I'm like ARE YOU KIDDING ME???  REALLY???


The manager was mortified, I was mortified, Frank was pissed, I mean, it was so NOT the way to end our weekend.  The ride home from the restaurant was really awkward - the manager did comp SOME of the meal and gave my father in law a GC for $45 and my sister one for $45 but really?  Do you think that was the time that they would EVER consider eating there again?  I sent them a scathing letter of complaint and Frank and I vow to NEVER eat at that particular Outback again.


Monday had my mom, sis and nephew leaving for the airport after breakfast and then we drove my in-laws to visit some relatives that live about 90 minutes from here.  By the time I got home Monday night, I wanted to curl up in the fetal position and cry.  I've basically been living like a hermit all week long trying to mentally recover.  Any time I have an extended visit with my family, I'm usually traumatized and mentally exhausted for at least a week.  So my week is up and I'm snapping out of it.  


I promise to post grad pictures tomorrow!

Blogging delays...Blogger issues...

So I'm spinning and spinning and running and running and in all of the hubub as graduation is almost upon us and I realized that I have not been posting like I normally do. Part of it is due to my being so dang busy but the other issue is with Blogger.

Okay, one of the many things that I LOVE about Blogger is that I was able to write and write and write and then schedule my posts. This worked great whenever I knew I was going to be out of town or away from my computer for any length of time. But now? For whatever reason, I can no longer schedule my posts. Oh, I can TRY - I put the date and time in and then BAM! it shows up immediately. It is seriously pissing me off. I've posted on the help boards and read all of the threads of other people complaining of the same thing and I get NO RESPONSE. Bad manners, Blogger, bad manners.

So before I continue with the never-ending-task of getting my house ready for this graduation, I figured I'd write for a minute or two and clear my mind. Now I can tackle the graduate who promised to mow the lawn bright and early this morning and is still lingering on Facebook.

It's gonna be a good day...

Caffeine STAT!!

It's a rainy Tuesday morning (big surprise) and I am sitting here on the computer after taking Michael to school on only 2 hours of sleep. Me, not Michael. Why? Well, I am still sick. Yesterday being a holiday and all, no doctor.

I was watching TV last night around 9:30 when I had a coughing fit - coughed till I vomited. TMI, sorry. I felt horrible. Finally went to bed around 11:30 after taking some Nyquil and then tossed and turned for over an hour because every position had me coughing AND my mind was just spinning. Got up, took some Melatonin which, on top of the Nyquil, should have put me in a coma.

It didn't.

I dozed, I woke, I dozed, I woke. Then Frank came to bed with issues of his own and that had me up for a while. When the alarm went off at 6:15, I wanted to cry. I got up, got Michael up and at 7:00, went to get Frank up. He normally does the morning carpool thing.

Except for today.

Seriously, he is STILL in there snoozing it up at 8:15! He doesn't have work today (Thank you, again, Mother Nature) and so he was TIRED. REALLY???? I'm sick AND tired but I still managed to get out of the damn bed when I was supposed to! This is so NOT what I needed this week. We had a discussion yesterday about my stress level and he's like "Just tell me what you need and I'll do it?" REALLY? How about getting up and driving our son to school so that I don't have to go out in the rain WHILE I'M SICK??? THAT might help!

I'm yelling, I'm sorry. I'm very tired and very cranky and there is so much to do before relatives start arriving and I just want to cry.

But first, I'm going to have a really tall glass of soda...

Sick again!

I think this stress is going to be the death of me.

I think I have a sinus infection or perhaps Strep again.

I don't want to go to the doctor again.

But then again, I really need to get better quick...

Dangit!!

Randomly Random...

I've got extreme A.D.D. it feels like. I can't keep my thoughts together and remember what I'm doing from one minute to the next.

A couple of years ago we had rented a car from Enterprise. We had the choice between a Dodge Derango or the Dodge Caravan. I asked the guy which got better gas mileage and he said they were the same. LIAR! We stopped for gas so much it was insane! The drive from NC to NY took 6 trips to the gas pump! So when we returned the car, I told them so and they gave me a certificate for a free weekend rental. Sweet! I recently FOUND said certificate and am hoping to use it next weekend so we have an extra car for graduation weekend. The only problem? I keep forgetting to go to Enterprise to book it! I went today and they closed at noon! Monday is a holiday, Sunday they are closed, I mean, who does that???

All of the painting is done. Hallelujah!!!

I had a nightmare last night about the graduation ceremony. First, the kids kept scattering. One dad got up and did a whole rapping song and dance while his son (the graduate) walked off the stage, got changed and left. Nick kept wandering off and getting rid of his cap and gown, my family was loud and disruptive, there were hardly any chairs set up...on and on it went and I'd wake up and when I went back to sleep it would pick up right where I left off!! Next thing I know we're looking out the church window and there is Big Thunder Mountain roller coaster from Disney World and we're all arguing over who is going to go on it! Crazy!

Nick was home for dinner tonight for the first time in a while and we went to the Pork store (Italian Butcher) to get some fresh Italian sausage for dinner. The guy that owns this place looks a LOT like my dad. Same height, build, similar facial features and his EXACT mannerisms. It's a little bit scary.

Why did I plan such a big graduation party? Sure it all seemed like a good idea at the time but now that it's getting closer I am FREAKING out! And not a little freaking out, a whole lotta freaking out. I mean, I have people arriving on Thursday and Friday, three trips to the airport, extra meals for all these extra people...I have no idea how I'm going to recover financially from all of this. This party IS Nick's gift but I still wish I could have actually given him something else. But...in all fairness...after a weekend with the whole family, well, the memories and the stories will be gift enough.

I ate a dozen Enteman's chocolate chip cookies today.

They weren't on the diet plan.

I played Powerball for the first time today. We'll see if we actually get even remotely close to winning. What was that old Lotto line? You gotta be in it to win it...I deserve to win something here!!