Saturday, June 26, 2010

Another mile-marker on the mommy journey...

Okay moms...I've hit some sort of "milestone" today and I don't like it.  Today Nick packed up and loaded the car to head to Illinois (15 hours away) to go to Cornerstone - the 6 day Christian concert extravaganza.

He is 18.  He has graduated.  By all accounts I should be okay with all of this.

I'm not.

Remember the first time you let your parents have your child overnight when they were a baby?  Remember their first sleepover at a friend's house?  Maybe the first time they went to sleep-away camp?  Well this is WORSE!  You know why?  Because he is far away.  He is far away and if something were to happen I can't get to him!  

Frank keeps reassuring me that nothing is going to happen and all of my crying and worrying will be for nothing.  There is a good chance that he is right.  BUT... there is also a chance that he is going to be wrong.  When your child is with your parents, there is someone right there that loves them and will protect them - but things can happen.  When they sleep at a friend's house you can feel safe knowing that you are friends with the family and they will do their best to protect your child.  He is going to be in a big, open field with like 100,000 people who DON'T know him and DON'T love him and could care less about protecting him because they are too busy protecting themselves!

I am a wreck.  Technically, he hasn't even left the state yet as I write this.  Technically, he won't be even on the road until after breakfast tomorrow but he's sleeping at a friend's house tonight.  Protected.  

Before he left today, we hugged and he saw my eyes tearing up and he told me to relax, that he'd be back.  I almost wish he hadn't said that because it put the thought more firmly in my mind!  Plus, he's going off to a concert (he reminded me) not off to war.  That made me think of my friends who have children fighting for our country in dangerous parts of the world and it made me feel petty for crying about my son having the freedom to go and enjoy himself at a Christian festival while they may never see their children again because they are in war-torn parts of the world.  


Pray for me friends. 

1 comment:

jenn said...

I am sure he will be fine, and I am sure that no matter how many people tell you that, you will still worry. It's a mom thing. I get it. And I am totally dreading when Ryan turns 18 and wants more independence.