Three week goal...

As many of you may already know, my younger son goes to year-round school while my older son is homeschooled. This schedule does work for us, especially for the next few weeks. Why? Michael is tracked out! Year-round school maintains a schedule of 9 weeks in, 3 weeks out. We are now in our track out segment and I couldn't be happier. I love how we really look forward to this time because we have hit a point where getting up is tiresome, homework is tiresome, etc. This schedule no longer effects Nick because he is getting ready to graduate and really has little work to do anyway.

So for the next three weeks what do I have in mind? Well, for starters, the extra hour or two of sleep each morning is going to be GLORIOUS! I am loving that. I haven't written for the Examiner in a couple of weeks so I need to get back to that. We are going to go to the movies at least once - either just me and Michael or Nick might take him (such a good big brother!). I'd like to drop another 6 pounds during this time off - one has nothing to do with the other, really, but it's a goal. I put in an application with the local YMCA to see about a discount membership and so I am hoping that it will come through in the next few weeks so that Michael and I can go together. They have a rock-climbing wall that he really wants to try. I want to go bowling one day - I'm a sucker for that.

I want to have Michael do something more than be home playing video games all day - although I'm sure he wouldn't mind if he did! The weather is supposed to be warmer next week and so I am hoping that it will motivate us to get up and get out a little bit more. I am so ready for this winter to end!!

I think I may have to take some time and clean out closets and dressers. Both boys have had a growth spurt and I know I saw some things in my drawers that I am just never going to wear again. This school break seems like a good time to get some of it done.

Anyone have any goals they are trying to reach lately??

But how will he function??

I struggle daily with parenting. I have two boys who are eight years apart and are lightyears apart in their personalities and thinking. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I "get" Nick, I understand his thinking and thought process, Michael, not so much.

When Nick first started school, I was a class mother, I was heavily involved. He went to school until the end of the third grade and then we brought him home to homeschool him. Michael told us when he was three that he was NOT going to be homeschooled. He has done fine in the public school - I'm just not involved. It's not because I don't care, mind you, it's just that Michael has the type of personality where he already struggles with rules and not wanting to do what the teacher tells him and so my presence in the classroom was possibly going to undo all of the progress any of his teachers were making.

Now I am a firm believer in being kept informed when there is a problem at school. He is in the 4th grade now and we've had teachers who have told us every move he's made, while others have only contacted us when there was a REAL problem. I've talked to the principal a time or two, I've sat down with a "focus group" that was a committee of 8 people to try and discuss why he was struggling back in the third grade - he argued with his teach a LOT. It turns out that in the end, the TEACHER was the problem that year, not Michael.

Anyway, on Monday we get a note sent home from his PE teacher. It was a form letter with added comments that Michael was inconsistent and uncooperative with...jumping rope.

Seriously? Really?

I mean, this was a LETTER about my child's performance in jumping rope! Can he read? YES! Can he write? YES! Is her performing on grade level? YES! Is he a danger to himself or others? NO! Don't waste my time sending me a letter because my athletically gifted child (and he is) does not want to jump rope! The boy is a fast runner, he can hit a ball, dunk a ball, throw a perfect spiral, he can do flips in mid-air while running, he can do cartwheels, he rides a bike, climbs trees, climbs ropes, hell, he can even scale a wall! He does not NEED to jump rope! You know how I know this? Because I CAN jump rope and I still didn't finish college and I'm still unemployed right now! My husband can jump rope and he still struggles in finding work!

I think some of these teachers take things WAY too seriously. If Michael was hurting someone with the jump rope, then fine call me. Is he getting belligerent over being harassed over jump-roping? Probably. Instead of focusing on this one thing that he can't or won't do (and it's not of any importance to his life or his future) move on! Focus on what he CAN do! Kids self-esteems get CRUSHED by teachers like this! I know because it was one of the reasons we pulled Nick out of school all those years ago! He had a teacher get verbally and physically abusive to him and it was over drawing!

Teachers, I know your jobs are hard. I cannot imagine leading a group of 30 kids for 180 days and having all of those different personalities and learning styles to deal with. But like most parents, there are times where you can pick your battles. No one has ever failed in life because they could not jump rope. Be realistic. We all have it hard right now with life in general, don't add to it by sending home letters over the ridiculous.

Give me a break!

So Frustrating!

So yesterday was going to be my "rest" day to try and come out of this haze of icky feelings. I drove Nick to work at 7 a.m., came home, got Michael ready for school and after he left with Frank, I crawled back in to the bed for some uninterrupted sleep. Good plan, right?

At 10:55 (I'm almost ashamed to write that!) the phone rings. I was in a DEAD sleep. It's Michael's school calling. I answer the phone and the woman on the other end tells me that they have Michael in the office because he got stung by a bee at recess. She sees that he is not allergic to bees according to his file but he is pretty upset and being that he's never been stung before (he told her that) she is unsure if we really KNOW that he's not allergic to bees. Plus, he's pretty upset. Okay. So she puts him on the phone and I can tell that he's upset and I tell him to hold on, I'll be there in 20 minutes.

So I jump out of the bed, throw on clothes, brush my teeth and dash out the door with my flowing red cape behind me. I drive like the hammers of hell were after me, I pull up to the front door of the school and almost do a Dukes of Hazzard slide over the hood in my haste to get to my boy. I run through the front doors of the school and in to the office and...

No Michael.

I look around, I go in to the nurse's office (and I use that term loosely because there IS no school nurse) and the lady behind the front desk in the office asks if she can help me. I'm like "I'm here for Michael! He got stung by a bee!" She barely stops what she's doing and is like "Oh, he went back to class. He was fine."

???

REALLY??? I mean, then WHY call me? She's like "You didn't want to take him home, did you?" Which I translated to mean "You didn't want to take him home, right? You big, stupid idiot. And for God's sake put on some make up!" But hey, that's just my interpretation of it. She calls him to come to the office and while yes, his hand was a little red, I think that was mainly from holding a bag of ice on it. I give him a kiss and send him back on his way before turning back to this woman at the desk. She asked if the stinger was out and I'm like, yes. She tells me that they are NOT ALLOWED to take the stingers out! What does that mean exactly? I mean, if I were not home and no one was able to come up there and my child was freaking out with this stinger in his hand and they would just send him on his way? What is going on in these schools?? I don't understand it!

So I leave, drive home at a slower pace but my day was shot. I hate having to jump out of the bed like that and go out without a shower. I felt like a slug all day. The boy came home and all memory of the bee sting was gone. Like it never even happened. WELL I REMEMBER, BUDDY!

I think I just frustrate myself!

And Send Them Off With a Good Breakfast...

Okay, so today was day one of the EOG's (end of grade testing) at Michael's school. You know, I can remember being in school and they were called FINALS. We took FINALS. There were no weeks of review to prepare for the EOG's, you just knew the dates and went in and took the darn test.

We had lists of instructions, books that we could purchase, you name it, all in the name of the EOG's. Correct me if I'm wrong but if these teacher's taught well, then wouldn't the children BE ready for these tests? I mean, we've gotten progress reports throughout the year that have told us that our child is intelligent and learning so why this obsession with these tests? It was even required that we (The Parents) send in letters of encouragement to our children to read BEFORE taking the test!

I'm sorry, but this just seems a little bizarre for me. These are tests. He is in the third grade. I'm sure that there is some weird rule that states the better a school does on their testing, then the more funding they get but...by doing all of this obsessive preparation in the weeks leading up to the test, to me, that doesn't qualify you for doing a good job! We all know that cramming for a test is the LAZY WAY of preparing for it. My teenager makes me crazy when he does that. He could go for weeks without looking at the material - mention that he's having a test and then he would cram for it. And lo and behold, he'd do great. But I'm pretty sure that the normal way of doing this is just LEARNING the darn material when it is taught.

Maybe I'm being unrealistic. Personally, I just find it crazy that all learning has stopped in the last couple of weeks in order to prepare for these tests. He had no homework this week. Why? Because they are not learning anything new. They are preparing for the test. My list of instructions for testing days were: make sure he got a good night's sleep, feed him a good breakfast (the school is even offering FREE BREAKFASTS so that those students who can't get a good breakfast at home won't miss out), send in his letter of encouragement, encourage him at home, keep his stress level at a minimum, and make sure he is on time for school. Hell, why don't THEY just keep the kids for a week to make sure that they are programmed well enough for the darn test. Just let them camp out at the school, have tapes playing over-night to reinforce the things that they should have learned all year long, slip them all an Ambien to ensure that they actually sleep and send them home to us when they are done.

Good night's sleep?
Check.
Letter of Encouragement?
Check.
Good breakfast?
Check.
Did he actually learn anything this year before this cram session?
?

Should've Stayed in Bed...

Let me start by saying that I am SO GLAD that this day is coming to an end. I woke up this morning, got Michael up for school (first day back from track-out), woke Frank up and we got on with our morning. I felt icky and wanted nothing more than to vomit, but did not. I sent the father and son team off to drive to school and chilled for a bit. Twenty minutes after they left, the phone rings. It's the school. I'm like "COME ON! He's back in school for like three minutes and already there's a problem???"

Um, yes...and the problem is me.

Why?

There was no school today. Track-out does not end until Wednesday.

Bad mommy moment.

So I call Frank, he goes back to school and I stand in the shower and cry because I am SURE this is going to traumatize the boy for life. Yet another incident that will be discussed on some shrink's couch some day. They get home, I cry some more, make my child so uncomfortable that he actually seems unsure whether or not to come near me. He gave me an awkward hug and then ran for the TV.

I'm beaming with pride right now.

Then it's off to work. I'm PMS-ing, I've traumatized my child, I want to vomit and now...I have to move heavy furniture! Why? Because the church that rents space from us forgot to set the classrooms back up. So now I have to set up 12 tables, 24 chairs, unload two bags of ice and two 12-packs of beverages and start my day with a smile! NOT LIKELY!! I was sweaty and angry and pretty much wanted to cry again. Not a good way to start the day.

The day never got much better. I pulled like 150 books off of the shelves for consignor's to come and pick up. I called like a dozen people to tell them to come and get their stuff. I dealt with obnoxious teens who thought they were funny trying to steal metal chairs. Then in the midst of it all, I had to argue with my OWN teen about WHY he cannot have a pet hamster, gerbil or any other kind of rodent-like pet.

At the end of the work day, I did my three-mile walk, came home, cooked dinner and am just now at 10:04 starting to unwind. One can only hope that Tuesday dawns a little bit brighter.

Please...

Teacher's of the Round Table...

Yesterday I had a meeting up at Michael's school with their Student Support Team. The principal initiated this meeting and I was sent a very basic letter "inviting" me to come and talk with this team about ways to help Michael do better in the classroom. I know that he needs help so of course I went.

I arrived at the school only five minutes early (I planned to get there sooner but afternoon traffic was a killer!). Michael's teacher was waiting for me in the lobby and we walked to the meeting together - which was in a trailer just outside the main building. We opened the door and there sat a group of EIGHT people!! I was a little overwhelmed. I actually stood there and gaped. I was like "Wow, there are a lot of you!" They found me amusing.

Over the next 30 minutes this group of amazing people (there was his teacher, his science/social studies teacher, a guidance councilor, a speech pathologist, a clinical psychologist/social worker, the principal...I forgot what the other's did because I was a little shell-shocked) asked me questions and actually listened to me about Michael. They asked his teacher very specific questions. They offered suggestions. When I told them about the medication his pediatrician put him on for ADD they all gasped! Apprently, this particular medication can sort of bring out or escalate his anger issues. Charming. Yet another point for doctor "touchy-feely". They recommened taking him off of the meds and not one of them - most of who have daily interaction with Michael - felt that he was ADD! Lucky for me I found the big ADD expert to treat my child, right?

I left there feeling encouraged. I felt that today somebody, SOMEBODY, was actually going to try and help my boy. They are working on ways to structure his day a little more. No surprises seems to work for him. The psychologist is going to spend some time observing him and his behavior as well as that of the teacher. She actually came here to the bookstore today to talk with me a little bit more! I can't get his doctor to talk to me about Michael for more than 30 seconds and this woman who I just met took time out of her morning to drive to my place of business and give me some more information.

I'm a bit emotional about the whole damn situation. You know, I had a heinous pregnancy with Michael. We had prayed for another child for so long and when I did finally conceive, it was just awful. I was sick every day of that pregnancy. I was suicidal at one point and I remember reading an article that said that mother's who have stressful pregnancies (or are depressed, have anxiety, whatnot) will tend to have children who are more high maintenance. Well, he has certainly been that and more at times. But most of the time, he is warm and cuddly. He is my little Bean. I hate that he is struggling with anything! I want him to be happy. I want him to have good days. I don't want to think about him having to be "observed" because no one knows what in the world is wrong with him.

I want my family to be supportive. I don't want them passing judgement or mocking me with stupid comments like "Well, you prayed for him!" or "Remember, you just had to have another child!" What kind of crap is that? He is a little boy that they should love! He's just a little different and needs some extra love and understanding!

I wish I could just take him and hug him right now.

Those Were the Days...

Remember when you were growing up and you went to the school that was directly IN your neighborhood? Remember how it wasn't a scary thing to be eight years old and walking from the bus stop to your own home - which was only two doors down? Remember how our parents were actually INFORMED of changes going on in school? Well, I'm here to tell you friends that those days are long gone.

Today was Michael's first day of third grade. A momentous occassion to be sure. When we went to open house last week, there was not a single person there who knew what in the world was going on. Even his teacher was brand new - only hired three days earlier. We have a special situation - Michael gets dropped off by the bus directly to the bookstore since that is where I am most afternoons. We made special arrangements directly with the department of transportation. If I were to change that need, I would have to call them, fill out forms and make sure that everyone was notified. I, apparently, do not require that same consideration. We were told just last week that nothing would be changing - same bus, same stop, no problems. Only there was. When Michael got dropped off today, I was thrilled. Ten minutes after arriving at the store, I got a call from the school telling me that we could no longer have that stop because the town had been re-zoned for a new elementary school that went up five miles up the road and now the bookstore is technically in that zone.

???

So after several angry phone calls that were all met with the most incompetent of people, Michael now has to take a completely new bus directly to our home which requires the teenager to be here and not out and about making goo-goo eyes at his girlfriend (who I LOVE). Frank is breaking that little bit of news to him as we speak. Hee-hee! So, now I have to leave work and hopefully get home in time for the bus twice a week and twice a week it will be up to Nick to handle it. Not a big mess but it was all handled so poorly by the very people who organize it. Did they really not know until 3:00 today that "OOPS, the town was re-zoned!" I don't think so. They could not find my home address on a map and I live off of one of the major roads in town! So these incompetent idiots (yes, I'm in a mood and on a roll now!) are responsible for the safety of our children and they cannot even read a map! When I asked for the nearest bus stop to our home, I was told there was one about 4 blocks away! When I got home and looked at the map myself, I found one two doors down! So knowing me, you know I got on the horn and started writing letters. I wrote a nasty letter to the Department of Transportation, the Wake County Public School system AND ABC11tv.com.

Watch your local listings for my close up!