Twenty-one years ago I became a mom. It was the most amazing moment of my entire life. Staring down into the little face, the life that I helped create, and seeing him look back at me and hold my finger just made my heart stop. He was so beautiful, so incredible and we began an a journey into our new roles in life.
A new journey begins tomorrow... he leaves for college tomorrow.
He moved out of the house almost two years ago so the transition will be easier than it could be but still, just knowing that he is not two miles up the road is going to take a little time to get used to. He's all packed up; the trailer is loaded. He's spending his last night in town here with us and I kind of feel bad because I took my prescribed cold medication and finding it difficult to remember how to type (barely know my own name) and Frank is asleep on the couch.
We're not an exciting group by any stretch of the imagination.
Tomorrow morning we take the trek up to school to move him in to his new apartment and help him get settled into his new life. I AM SO NOT READY FOR THIS!!!
Have we raised him for this? Yes. Is he ready for this? Absolutely. Will this be a good thing for all of us? I am sure. Do I want him to go? No. Selfishly, I want him near by where I can see him whenever I want. I want him to be happy - just living near by while doing it!
Sigh...being a mom is the hardest job in the world! Just when we hit a point in our relationship where we are friends and that he enjoys the company of his parents, he's leaving! When he and his brother are finally friends, he's leaving.
As sad as I am, as much as my heart is breaking and I just want to sit here and hold him close while I cry, I will let him go. I will wish him every success that there is and beam with pride at all that he accomplishes.
Tomorrow I will say goodbye and drive away while a piece of my heart stays behind.