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Thursday, May 13, 2010

When Your Heart Gets Hardened...

I am a pretty emotional person. I feel other people's pain and want nothing more than to help someone in need. I am an excellent listener and always try to encourage people. It's not limited to my family or close friends, I feel that way for everyone. I cry at stories I see on TV, I've prayed for people I don't even know.

There's someone in my life right now who is on the brink of...well, their life is pretty much a complete mess. Their marriage is over, the relationship that they were in since their separation is over, their business is closing, they are broke and they've pretty much isolated most the people who truly cared about them and sent them away. I know for me, personally, it's been about a year since we've spoken - though I've reached out several times, I've been turned away at every opportunity.

So last night a I get a call from a mutual acquaintance who tells me all of this person's woes and I'm told that they're suicidal. I'm not sure I'm buying that one; I mean, some people enjoy being drama queens and this situation that this person is in was brought on by nobody but themselves. It's kind of hard to feel sorry for someone who continually screws up their own lives. I guess my issue is with me. My heart. I'm being told that someone that I love is devastated and suicidal and I felt nothing. No tears, no sympathy, nothing. I was annoyed that I was even having to hear about their complaints.

Something's seriously wrong here. With me...I hate to think that my heart has gotten so hardened that I don't care if someone dies or not. No, there's definitely something wrong here...

3 comments:

Lola said...

I think sometimes no matter how well intentioned and empathetic a person is, there is a limit to how much a person can deal with. Some people's limits are very small, other people's are seemingly endless. It doesn't make you a bad person if you've reached your limit. You've clearly made several attempts to reach out. Don't feel bad. Perhaps you are thinking this person has cried wolf one too many times?

jenn said...

I agree with Lola. Maybe it's the fact that you have been blown off while trying to reach out in the past, why should you reach out now?

Lin said...

I'm with Lola and Jenn--it isn't you at all. I think you can only feel sorry for so long and so much for some folks. We all know people who willingly put "Poor" before their name and enjoy the sympathy and attention. At some point you get tired of hearing their woes. Move on and don't give it another thought.