Besides having a wonderful mother, I have been blessed to have some amazing women in my life who were and are mother figures to me. I feel like God made it possible to have these women in my life at times when I really needed them.
Back when I was 19, my mom and I were living with my grandmother. Well, I was 19 and a bit rebellious, mom was seriously dating a man that she would eventually marry and grandma had the tough task of being in the middle of it all. When I felt that I could no longer live with confusing rules and the input of a man who was not my father, I decided to move out. My best friend at the time was a guy named Kerry who had an awesome mom. Steph was a single mom who was ultra cool and told it like it was. We had become close because I was always at their house and when I told her that I wanted to move out, she offered me the opportunity to rent a room in her house.
It was an experience that changed my life.
For a year I lived with Steph and learned what it was like to be independent - that it wasn't all about me and that there were responsibilities that went with living on your own and that I had no right to be such a brat at times. Steph treated me like an equal and let me know when I was screwing up but she also encouraged me and praised me when I did right. I grew up so much during that time and I feel like had I not had that time, I would not have been able to handle the transition of living with my husband.
Anyway, the last time that I had seen Steph was at my wedding in 1991. We recently reconnected on Facebook (gotta love it!) and the other day she sent me a message saying how she loves getting these little snippets of my life, but she'd really like to talk to me. So I sent her my phone number and she called me on Sunday. I was so excited!! It was wonderful talking to such a dear friend and it seemed like 19 years just disappeared. She is presently in Florida visiting family and will be driving up to New York next month. We are trying to work it out that she can stop here on her drive.
Can I just say how psyched I am about that!! I am just hoping and praying that it all works out and how AWESOME is it that she would even want to stop and see me! I mean, I was a self-centered brat at that point in my life and yet she still loved me enough to want to help me and still loves me enough to want to see me and see how my life is. She was an amazing mentor and she is my adopted mom and I love her.
Yeah, me!
Showing posts with label mother/daughter relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mother/daughter relationships. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Me and My Park Avenue Taste
I live in a small home. I drive an older car. My husband drives an even older car. I buy my clothes primarily at Wal-Mart. I shop with coupons and a 'fancy' dinner to me is going to the Outback for their 'Outback Special'. Clearly I am not someone who indulges in much. I am happy (most of the time) with the simple pleasures in life and with our simple existence.
I am going to NY next week as you may remember. I am staying at the home of my mother and sister. Because so many other relatives will be there at the same time and I was the last to jump on board, I am relegated to sleeping on the couch. Not a big deal for me usually - I sleep on the couch when we stay at my sister-in-law's home. The problem with this particular couch is that it is the middle of a madhouse where the front door should be one of those revolving doors. There are people coming and going at all hours of the day and night and it doesn't matter if guests are trying to sleep. Now, I am greatly appreciative of my sister purchasing my plane ticket to get me up there to participate in the madness, but I was starting to freak out about the sleeping arrangements. Not only that, the house does not have central air and only the bedrooms have in-the-window air conditioning. Are any of these bedrooms near the couch so that I could feel a breeze? No. Do I normally sleep with a fan blowing on me 365 days a year along WITH the central A/C in the summer in my own home? Yes. Solution? My mom went out and bought an air mattress for me to sleep on in her bedroom with the built in pump. Can I hear a hallelujah? I was so thrilled that she thought me worthy of such a thing. Granted, it's still an air mattress but when faced with the alternative, I am almost giddy.
My charming sister who drops close to 40G a year on vacations and has a closet full of clothes the size of my bedroom (most still with the tags on that will eventually go to Good Will) took one look at the boxed bed and griped, "What does she need that for? What does she think this is, the Plaza?" Yes because we all know that when you think of the Plaza and all of it's plush comforts, you think twin-sized air mattress on the floor!
Why don't I go home and visit more often? Hmmm...
I am going to NY next week as you may remember. I am staying at the home of my mother and sister. Because so many other relatives will be there at the same time and I was the last to jump on board, I am relegated to sleeping on the couch. Not a big deal for me usually - I sleep on the couch when we stay at my sister-in-law's home. The problem with this particular couch is that it is the middle of a madhouse where the front door should be one of those revolving doors. There are people coming and going at all hours of the day and night and it doesn't matter if guests are trying to sleep. Now, I am greatly appreciative of my sister purchasing my plane ticket to get me up there to participate in the madness, but I was starting to freak out about the sleeping arrangements. Not only that, the house does not have central air and only the bedrooms have in-the-window air conditioning. Are any of these bedrooms near the couch so that I could feel a breeze? No. Do I normally sleep with a fan blowing on me 365 days a year along WITH the central A/C in the summer in my own home? Yes. Solution? My mom went out and bought an air mattress for me to sleep on in her bedroom with the built in pump. Can I hear a hallelujah? I was so thrilled that she thought me worthy of such a thing. Granted, it's still an air mattress but when faced with the alternative, I am almost giddy.
My charming sister who drops close to 40G a year on vacations and has a closet full of clothes the size of my bedroom (most still with the tags on that will eventually go to Good Will) took one look at the boxed bed and griped, "What does she need that for? What does she think this is, the Plaza?" Yes because we all know that when you think of the Plaza and all of it's plush comforts, you think twin-sized air mattress on the floor!
Why don't I go home and visit more often? Hmmm...
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Dear Miss Manners...
Dear Miss Manners,
I believe myself to be a good conversationalist. I am witty and fairly intelligent. I am by no means living the most exciting life, but my days are always eventful. Why is it then, that whenever I pick up the phone and willingly make a long distance call to my mom and sister's home (they live together) they carry on conversations with one another (sometimes mom will even talk to her dog) while I am on the line! I listen to their ramblings about their days - from furniture shopping to dog's peeing on the floor - yet when it is my turn to talk about my day, they tune me out as if I'm not speaking at all! There is literally dead air at times.
So Miss Manners, how does one address such inconsiderate behavior and why, oh why, am I going up there to visit them?
Sincerely,
Long Distance Loser
I believe myself to be a good conversationalist. I am witty and fairly intelligent. I am by no means living the most exciting life, but my days are always eventful. Why is it then, that whenever I pick up the phone and willingly make a long distance call to my mom and sister's home (they live together) they carry on conversations with one another (sometimes mom will even talk to her dog) while I am on the line! I listen to their ramblings about their days - from furniture shopping to dog's peeing on the floor - yet when it is my turn to talk about my day, they tune me out as if I'm not speaking at all! There is literally dead air at times.
So Miss Manners, how does one address such inconsiderate behavior and why, oh why, am I going up there to visit them?
Sincerely,
Long Distance Loser
Saturday, June 7, 2008
I'll Meet You in Homeroom
Remember the times when you were a girl in high school and you couldn't wait to meet up with your friends between classes, in homeroom, or at lunch? All of the silly conversations that were centered around who's dating who? What they did? What everyone is wearing? All the cool places you were going that weekend? Most of us miss those days, but not me! No, I'm living those days EVERY day whether I want to or not. I don't even really participate in these conversations, but I listen and nod and make a non-commital type of comment when needed.
"Do you know where they're going today? A picnic in the park."
"Do you know where they went for dinner last night? It was very late. I bet she paid."
"Do you know where they just went? I can't believe that she had to take him there!"
It's always the same. Every day there is a drama and it makes me realize how thankful I am for the 600 miles between us and the fact that I have more important things to do with my life than getting sucked in to this insane soap opera of life on Long Island. I guess that this is what happens when you have multi-generations living in one house. My mom - who is recently divorced (Praise God!) - has not re-established her own life yet so her main form of entertainment is watching and talking about my sister's life. And while, yes, it can be entertaining to listen to, there are just days that I want to scream "WHO CARES??" I have learned my lesson and do not give in to the urge to commisserate with her or offer my own disgust of the situation - that one came back and bit me on the ass one too many times. Now I just try to let her vent. But honestly, enough already! We all know what a creep this guy is, and we all know that my sister does not see it, so all we can do is sit back and wait.
Some days, I feel like I'm reading a note that was slipped to me under the desk in class. The only difference is that, as an adult, I was hoping for a bit more 'mature' conversation. It's not as fun at 40 as it was at 16.
Bummer.
"Do you know where they're going today? A picnic in the park."
"Do you know where they went for dinner last night? It was very late. I bet she paid."
"Do you know where they just went? I can't believe that she had to take him there!"
It's always the same. Every day there is a drama and it makes me realize how thankful I am for the 600 miles between us and the fact that I have more important things to do with my life than getting sucked in to this insane soap opera of life on Long Island. I guess that this is what happens when you have multi-generations living in one house. My mom - who is recently divorced (Praise God!) - has not re-established her own life yet so her main form of entertainment is watching and talking about my sister's life. And while, yes, it can be entertaining to listen to, there are just days that I want to scream "WHO CARES??" I have learned my lesson and do not give in to the urge to commisserate with her or offer my own disgust of the situation - that one came back and bit me on the ass one too many times. Now I just try to let her vent. But honestly, enough already! We all know what a creep this guy is, and we all know that my sister does not see it, so all we can do is sit back and wait.
Some days, I feel like I'm reading a note that was slipped to me under the desk in class. The only difference is that, as an adult, I was hoping for a bit more 'mature' conversation. It's not as fun at 40 as it was at 16.
Bummer.
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