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Monday, March 22, 2010

It's official...I'm a prom pooper

Back in the day, I was all about the proms. I went to several of them and loved all that went with them - the dresses, the flowers, the guys, the friends, the limo...it was awesome! With Nick being homeschooled, I was kind of afraid of him missing out on this tradition. Then I remembered that he is a boy and proms and such don't matter to boys the way that they do to girls.

Okay, so then it was announced that there was going to be a homeschool prom. A REAL prom - it is being held at this beautiful historic estate, it is going to be formal with a catered sit-down dinner, dancing, the whole shebang. I told Nick about it, I guess other people told him about it, but he didn't mention it much to me. And then he did. He was sort of like "I guess we're gonna go". Not overly excited, but he was being a good boyfriend.

So the other night he is telling me of some of the dresses that his girlfriend was looking at and it hit me - there may be a dress code. I went to the website and sure enough, there was - along with a whole lot of other "codes". Now, I am a Christian, I believe in keeping our kids safe and as pure as we can. What I do not believe in is situations that are nothing more than structured/controlled free time that I have to pay $65 a person for. The prom is open to homeschoolers and alumni ages 14-21. That is a HUGE age gap. So I guess because of that, there has to be a LOT of rules. As a parent, I get it, as an 18 year old looking to have a nice night, this is not really it. One chaperon per 3 students, no going to your car without an escort, no "dangerous dancing" - I'm not even sure what that means!

So the 18 year old in me has some issues: First, I would NOT want to be at a prom with 14 year olds. Hell, I remember being annoyed at my senior prom when someone brought their junior girlfriend's as dates! We were like "Hey, get your own prom!" Second, we have raised our children to be respectful, God-loving adults. By practically having armed guards at the door seems to scream that we don't trust them. And finally, and I learned this from leading the graduation committee, there are just parents that want to have way too much control over their children's lives. I love Nick. I love his girlfriend. I have not loved all of their friends or their parents. BUT...we all had the opportunity to enjoy our proms by leaving our parents at home! Couldn't we show the same respect to our kids - maybe with a little modification? I know we need to have parents there but really? Three to one ratio? That seems a bit extreme!

The mom in me wants him to go. I want the pictures and I want him to have the memory. I am not thrilled with the cost, to say the least. I think that for that kind of money, I know I would enjoy having a little bit of a say in the evening. I have learned that my views are not shared with many. I am fighting many such battles with the graduation moms and I am frustrated to say the least. I know a lot of the moms who have worked hard on the prom and I commend them for it - I just don't share their enthusiasm for how it is all going to go down.

Part of the proceeds of the prom are going to an orphanage in another country. While I think that is a very noble thing, there are families HERE in this country, in this state, heck, in this TOWN that need help. People are losing their jobs, their homes, their LIVES...I think it is time that we help a few more of the locals. I don't begrudge anyone wanting to help this orphanage, but we should have the option to NOT give to that and give where we want to give.

Okay, so I am rambling. I know. The bottom line is, after reading all of the rules and regulations for PAYING to go to the prom, I don't know if Nick is going to do it. I will support his decision either way and hopefully be able to keep my mouth shut against the parents that have been badgering me about the whole thing. I've tried to keep my opinion to myself but I'm at the breaking point. Honestly, at this point, I'd rather coordinate a cocktail party for Nick and his friends and then let THEM choose a nice restaurant to go to where they can eat and dance with a little bit of freedom.

Like I said, ladies, those of you who are working on the prom, I really do appreciate all of your hard work. I think that this will be a wonderful night for a lot of people. Personally, it's just not my thing. I wish you great success with it but please do not be offended if we choose to opt out.

9 comments:

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jenn said...

I agree with everything you said. If it was my "senior" prom, I wouldn't want 14 year olds, or all those parents, around. Like you said, where is the trust in these kids?

Lin said...

I dunno, I don't remember prom as being all that great. My mom hyped it up and basically forced me to go and I hated it. And add to it that there is so much pressure to do something the next day with your date as well. So, that is fine if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, but if it is a casual date, it is now a TWO DAY date. Ugh. That can be really scary or at least really weird.

I'm fine if my son does not go to prom. As of right now, it doesn't look like he is going. He wants to go with his friends as a single, but I'm not pushing it.

I think prom has too much pressure. Good for you to support him if he decides not to go.

Petula said...

I totally get your point. That is a bit extreme.

Storm, The Psychotic Housewife said...

Hmmm... you know, the rules don't bug me so much as allowing the younger ones there, and then the 21 year olds - that's really pushing it, and having that big of an age gap bothers me. Chaperons or no, I wouldn't want my daughter at age 14 there with 21 year olds.

I'm one who didn't go to Prom, though - I thought it was a waste and went to see the Rocky Horror instead. ;)

Darlene E. Burchett said...

We'll I just guess you are worrying too much... but on second thought.., how can there be a prom that includes 14 y/o? rationale please...In normal school, this just isn't the way it is..,

NCLighthousekeeper said...

Gee Stace - you could have asked

Mom said...

I think it's awesome that you are leaving the final decision up to him.

I do believe that the excessive age gap is not only inappropriate for a Prom, but also invites all sorts of issues where an older person may want to be involved with a younger person. That's just too many open doors... if you know what I mean.

Unlikely Oilfield Wife said...

Yeah, that age difference allowance is more than a little strange. I'm always so grateful that I had parents who gave myself and my older sister some freedom, allows for a good relationship as adults.